Dirty Little Secret
by iamerika
Summary: Jax's son, Abel has been kidnapped. Abel's mother, Wendy has returned. Wendy shares a secret about Jax that she's been keeping. What is it? How will Tara react? Will Jax and Tara's relationship survive? Read to find out! May contain spoilers for Season 3
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Characters are the property of the producers of the TV series, Sons of Anarchy. No monetary compensation is gained.

**Rated: **M (for sexual content, language and violence)

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Tara paced in Jax's living room, anxious to hear some kind of word on the progress of Jax's son; Abel's kidnapping. Evidence had led SAMCRO to Ireland where they had long time friends and partners, who had discovered that one of their own had taken him.

Gemma and Tara had bonded closer together than they ever had before. Both women shared the pain of losing a baby who they had both cared for every day. Every day they either spoke to each other over the phone or came over each others' houses to help each other deal with the pain, worry and anxiety that they were both feeling.

Tara had taken a leave of absence from work. She was one of the surgeons at the local hospital in Charming. Her mind couldn't cope with all of the stress that her job entailed. Who could blame her? She had discovered that the field of medicine that she wanted to devote her life to; was in the infant intensive care unit. Abel's birth had made her realize that she had a gift. She wanted to help very young, innocent lives, who needed a doctor when they were so young, small and defenseless.

Jax blamed Tara for Abel's disappearance. He had pushed her away, but Gemma kept coaching her on how to fight for him and their relationship. Jax would eventually come around once Abel returned into the family's loving arms again, Gemma would say. Tara was beginning to lose patience. She hadn't been held, kissed or anything since Abel had been kidnapped. Jax's mind was completely on finding his son and returning him home. She couldn't blame him.

But it hurt that he wouldn't turn to her for comfort. It hurt that he kept pushing her away. It hurt that he couldn't see that she was suffering too. _Didn't she mean anything to him?_ It was like his mind was closed off. He had erected a wall around himself and wouldn't let her or anyone else in.

She suffered alone.

Even though Gemma had assured her that she didn't blame her for what had happened, (Tara had been there at the time of the kidnapping. She had been held at gun point and she could have died instead of Half-Sack.) Tara still felt a tremendous amount of guilt. What kind of mother was she? She couldn't even protect the one child that she'd been put in charge of.

The doorbell rang.

Tara rushed to the door to answer it. She expected and hoped it to be one of SAMCRO to give her the latest update. It wasn't. Instead, Tara saw that it was Wendy. The mother of little Abel. A drug abuser. An addict. The woman who had the one thing that Tara wanted most - Jax's son.

"Hello," Tara greeted her, not in a friendly matter, but polite.

"I heard," Wendy burst into tears as soon as she spoke. "When were you going to tell me? I had to hear about it through the Charming grapevine!" She shouted at Tara.

"I'm sorry, it's not my place to tell you anything. I have no idea why Jax or anybody else didn't tell you about Abel's kidnapping," Tara tried to reason with her.

"But you _knew_..." Wendy objected. "You're Abel's doctor and you didn't have the decency to give me a call to let me know what happened? I should make you pay right now," she threatened, angry and full of outrage.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say," Tara shrugged. "Would you like to come in? I'll explain everything about what happened." She wanted to try to calm Wendy down.

Wendy nodded her head and came inside. She had calmed down a little bit, but not completely. She sat down at the kitchen table. Tara poured her a cup of coffee and sat down across the table from her.

"Where should I start?" Tara wondered.

"How about at the beginning?" Wendy suggested.

"Well...it happened right here in this room. I was on the phone with Jax when Cameron came in with a gun..." Tara explained the rest of the story to Wendy's tear-stained face.

After Tara had finished, Wendy spoke up. "If it had been _me_ watching over Abel, I wouldn't have let that asshole taken him!" She shouted, angrily at Tara. "I would have _died_ before I let him take him!"

Tara looked away. That was part of the reason why she felt so guilty. She heard it every day - how everyone else would have died trying to keep Abel from getting kidnapped. But she didn't. She hadn't. What was the old saying...hindsight was twenty-twenty?

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that he was going to take him," Tara replied back. "If I could do it all over again...I would have tried harder to keep him safe. I know that this is no consolation to you...but I really love him as if he were my own son. I'm totally distraught by his kidnapping."

"Yes, well, you see..." Wendy laughed, sarcastically at Tara. "That is the one right thing you've said since I first walked in here. You _should_ feel distraught and guilty for what you let happen."

Tara knew that it was Wendy's pain talking and not her own personal point of view. Tara was the closet person to her; who she could lash out at. Wendy wanted to hurt her, just like how she was hurting. She could understand that.

Jax entered the house. He stopped in his tracks as he entered through the front door. He was shocked to see Wendy sitting there at his kitchen table. "Wendy...what are you doing here?" He asked, incredulously.

Wendy, of course, ran into his arms and started to cry like a baby. She kept moaning and carrying on about how nobody had told her about Abel and how she hoped that they would find him soon.

Tara rolled her eyes. Wendy was, and always would be a drama queen. She was milking Abel's disappearance for all it was worth just to get Jax's attention. Tara decided that she'd had enough. She got up and left the room, giving the two of them some privacy.

Jax watched her go, surprised by the way that Tara had rolled her eyes because of Wendy's actions. _Didn't she understand the grief that they were going through? Didn't she care about Abel?_ Jax tried to comfort poor Wendy. He held her in his arms, as she cried into his shoulder. They stood that way for awhile until Jax pushed her away from him.

"I promise you, Wendy. I'm going to find him. I won't let Cameron get away with this," he vowed. He stared into her eyes, to make sure she was listening to him. "I promise. We _will_ get Abel back."

Wendy and Jax moved to the couch in the living room. Jax had his arm around her, comforting her.

"I can't believe that he's gone," Wendy moaned, into Jax's shoulder.

"Shush, it's alright. We know he's in Ireland. Clay and I are going to go there and get him back. It's okay, he'll be home before you know it." Jax rested his chin on the top of Wendy's head. He closed his eyes; hoped and prayed that it would be that easy.

Tara stood and peered around the corner of the hallway entrance. She watched the two of them in each other's arms. Wendy was getting more affection and more comfort from Jax, than _she_ had since Abel's kidnapping, Tara thought bitterly. It made her come to a swift decision. One that she knew that she would regret later on, but she was at her wits' end.

If Jax didn't appreciate all that she had done for him or her being around there anymore...then _she_ would make the decision for him. She would move back into her parents' house and Wendy could have all of his attention. She couldn't take it anymore. She'd had enough. She walked into Jax's bedroom, laid down on the bed and cried.

After having a good cry, Tara dug out her suitcase from the closet and began to pack. She didn't bother folding any of her clothes, she wanted to get out of there that fast. She dragged her suitcase down the hallway and waited for the perfect moment when Jax and Wendy were preoccupied. She walked out the front door and moved on with the rest of her life.

After Wendy had left, Jax went to go in search of Tara. They needed to talk. He hadn't liked the way that she had treated Wendy and made faces behind her back. He went into the bedroom that they shared and noticed that the drawers were pulled out, clothing was strewn all over the place and her side of the closet was empty. He raced into Abel's room, expecting that maybe she had decided to just switch rooms. That was not the case. His bedroom was full of baby clothes and nothing more.

Where did she go? Had she left him for good? Why had she left him all alone? Suddenly, he was angry. He destroyed Abel's room, knocked over the shelf, crib and torn the room apart.

He couldn't believe that she would run away from him once again.

* * *

A few days had passed. Tara had ignored any phone calls from Jax and/or his mother, at both her house and on her cell phone. Call display was a wonderful thing, she thought to herself. Some of her old friends from high school had called her and they had made plans to go out.

Tara needed to socialize. She had been cooped up in her house ever since she had left Jax. She had been crying for days on end. She felt depressed and not sure if she could go on. And _she_ was the one who had ended it. She wondered how Jax had taken her departure. Did he even miss her? Had he noticed that she was gone? She knew that it would take some time, but she vowed to herself she _would_ get over him...eventually.

That was why she was making it an effort to move on with her life. She needed to go out and have some fun.

She met her friends at one of the local bars in town. Thank God, it didn't have any affiliation with SAMCRO. She didn't want to see anyone who had any kind of connection with the club.

She drank, danced and had a wonderful time catching up with her old friends. Most of them were married and had young children. It made her feel left out. She could've been talking about Abel, she thought. She could have been bragging about how fast he was growing. But what was done, was done. She couldn't fix it now.

Tara took a break in the washroom and stared at herself in the mirror. She noticed that her makeup was smudged and she had dark circles under her eyes. She wiped the smudges off and brushed her hair. She heard someone enter the room and chose not to pay attention.

She saw Wendy's reflection in the mirror next to her. When had she shown up here? This wasn't her usual type of establishment. Wendy had a smirk on her face when she noticed that Tara was watching her warily.

"You know...I should thank you. You made my return to Charming and to Jax, that much easier," she told Tara in the mirrors' reflection.

Tara tried to ignore her and concentrated on what she was doing.

"You should know that Jax and I are back together again. In fact, he's been really good to me since I found out about Abel. He's always comforting me," she gloated. "Oh, and did you know that while the two of you were seeing each other...we slept together the night of Donna's wake? Maybe even now, we could be expecting another child on the way," she taunted.

Tara felt like the world crashed down and shattered all around her. She felt sick, used and hurt in a way that she never had been before. It was all she could do not to either burst into tears or run out of the room. She was dying inside and felt her soul collapse.

Wendy sauntered off, her goal was complete. Tara knew that she had wanted to make sure that Tara never wanted to get back together with Jax ever again. Well, Wendy's plan had worked. Tara watched her go, until the door closed behind Wendy as she left.

_Oh God...oh God...oh God...what had she done? What was Jax thinking?_ Tara asked herself. Had he gone completely crazy? Wendy was a druggie. She only cared about one thing and that was herself. What did Jax see in her?

Tara couldn't believe it. She had left the one person who she loved most in this world...for what? So that someone else could have him? She felt angry at herself for running away and it wasn't the first time. Why did she always run away when the going got tough? She felt her heart break in two. She needed to sit down and come to grips with it.

She went into one of the stalls and sat down with her head between her legs. She hugged herself, trying to find some sort of comfort and relief. God, no! She felt as if the best part of her was missing. She felt so alone and afraid. She sat there and cried and cried. She wasn't sure how long she sat there, but she heard the DJ call out an announcement for last call. She got up from her seat and went out into the bar.

There were a few people still there, but her friends had all left. She didn't know how she was going to get home. She didn't think that she could drive. She was both too drunk and too emotional to get behind the wheel of her car. She decided to walk.

It was a dark night. She was in the bad part of town. It was spooky. Every little sound made her jump. She tried to stay to the brightly lit streets, so she could see if anybody was going to sneak up behind her.

"Hey there, pretty lady," she heard someone call out. She didn't stop and face the person who had called out, but she walked faster. She walked in front of a back alley. She felt someone reach out, grabbed her arm and pulled her into it's dark depths.

She screamed and fought like a she-cat.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for all of your comments, I really appreciate them! And yes, there's not enough Jax and Tara stories on here, which is a shame. Hopefully, I can help rectify that situation! Here's the next chapter...

**Disclaimer:** Characters are the property of the writers and producers of Sons of Anarchy, no monetary compensation is gained.

**Rated**: M (sexual content, language and some violence)

* * *

**Chapter 2**

Earlier that same day in another part of Charming...

Jax was seated in the meeting room at SAMCRO. Jax and the club had just received a hot lead. Their sources told them that Abel was now in Ireland and was staying with one of the members of the Belfast chapter. The Belfast chapter had killed Cameron and had taken the kid into their fold. The club debated who should go to get Abel back and bring him home. It was decided that Clay and Jax would be the only two who would go. It was unnecessary for the entire club to go. Besides, they had other issues to deal with at home. The Mayans were breathing down their necks, trying to take over their territory.

Jax and Clay had arranged to take the very next plane to get there, but Jax had a few things to do before he left.

He was so happy and ecstatic; he wanted to share it with somebody. He went home to find an empty house. It felt emptier now, ever since Tara had left him a few days ago.

What the hell had happened? Why had she left? Things had been going so good...he had been telling her everything and she had seemed to accept what he had told her, no matter how bad those things were. Once Abel was kidnapped - everything had gone downhill from there. He couldn't understand why she would leave him - when he needed her more now than ever.

Maybe it was for the best? This way, he wouldn't have to feel the overwhelming need to protect her. He knew that his affiliation with the club was dangerous for everyone involved. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that a biker and a doctor shouldn't be together.

But he was depressed, hurt, angry and felt all alone. Nobody understood him like Tara did. Nobody else could make him feel like he was worth something. He had thought that nobody cared about him like she did either...but he guessed that he was wrong. She didn't care about him at all.

She had left him without saying a word. She ignored all his phone calls and texted messages. She refused to answer her own front door. He had tried to see her at work and that had failed too. She had conveniently taken a leave of absence so that he had no way to get in touch with her. It was like she had vanished into thin air. It reminded him of what had happened to Abel.

He wasn't sure which was worse - missing Abel or missing Tara. They both hurt. Ever since Tara had left him; he had gone into a deep depression. There was no hope of consoling him. Gemma had tried. She had tried to ask him what had happened, but he hadn't been able to tell her. He had no clue either. He felt betrayed and abandoned, just like many years ago when Tara had left him the first time. Had she run away from him now too?

God help him, he loved her. He ached for her. He was missing her in every single possible way in which a person could miss someone.

Wendy came through the door, loaded down with her suitcases and things. He greeted her and smiled. Not that Wendy was taking the place of Tara...nobody would be ever able to do that...but it was good to know that there was someone who needed him and who cared about him. He just wished that it would've been simpler. He wished that he didn't love Tara with every fiber of his being. He wished that he felt the same kind of attraction to Wendy, that he felt for Tara because maybe then he wouldn't feel so alone.

But it was no use. Wendy was his friend on nothing more. He needed to be comforted. It could have been any woman in Wendy's shoes because all he could see was Tara's face. Her face would _always_ be the only face he saw.

He felt a bitter resentment for what circumstances had forced Tara to run away again. Was it because of him? The club? What happened?

"Have you heard anything new?" she asked.

Jax told her about the latest developments. He had agreed to have Wendy temporarily move her things in because she had nowhere else to go.

He went into Abel's room. He pictured Tara in the room. It hadn't been so long; he could still smell her fragrant perfume. She had taken good care of little Abel, dressed him and fed him. God help him, all he wanted was to see her in this room once again. Maybe even holding a baby of their own.

In his life, he regretted many things. The fact that Tara wasn't Abel's mother was one of them. Why couldn't Abel have been _theirs_? What kind of bad luck had made it so Wendy was somehow Abel's mother? He loved Abel with all of his heart, but he knew that his feelings would have been vastly different if Abel were Tara's. He would have accepted fatherhood more readily. He would have been a lot more eager for his birth.

He wondered how things would be between them if Tara had been Abel's mother. Would she have run away from him if she were? Somehow, he knew that she wouldn't have. Both he and Tara hated the fact that he and Wendy would always be connected through Abel.

But the facts were what they were. Wendy was Abel's mother. Tara had run away from him once again. He was left with dealing with all of these facts, on top of Abel's kidnapping.

He would go to Ireland, pick up Abel and return home again. Then, he could suffer through his loneliness in some sort of peace. At least he would have Abel back again and his kidnapping would be resolved. It would help make things easier on him.

Jax headed to the airport, but on his way, he stopped by the police station. There was one person he needed to see.

"Hey Jax," Deputy Chief Hale greeted him when Jax knocked on his office door. "What's up?"

"We've found Abel," he exclaimed, excitedly. "In fact, we're heading there right now...but in the meantime I need you to do a favor for me."

"Sure, what is it?"

"I need you to look out for Tara. She won't have anything to do with me," he explained.

Hale seemed surprised by that. "What do you mean? Why won't she have anything to do with you?"

Jax didn't want to get into too many details. "Let's just say that she left me, but I still feel this need to protect her," he replied. "Will you do it?"

"Sure Jax," Hale agreed. He looked at Jax, puzzled by his comment about Tara's leaving him. He knew that Jax wouldn't give him the answer, so he didn't bother to ask. He had always had a soft spot for Tara anyways. "You can count on me."

They shook hands and Jax left the office. He headed to the club to gather up some of his belongings, including his father's manuscript. John Teller might have some words of wisdom he could share that would help him out with things.

Jax met Clay at the airport and they took off.

* * *

Later on that night...

Tara screamed as hard as she could. She fought the person off. She scratched their face, kicked their shins and tried to break free from their grasp.

"Tara, stop it!" Someone shouted at her.

She stopped what she was doing long enough to realize that it was Deputy Chief Hale. She stopped struggling and stared at him in confusion.

"Tara, what are you doing in this area of town? Don't you know that it's dangerous?" He asked.

"Yes, I do," she agreed, having regained control. "I was at a bar and was too drunk to drive home," she explained.

"You could have called me. I would have made sure that you made it home alright." He studied her, checking to see if she was alright from the scare that he'd given. "Come, I'll take you home."

He ushered her down the alley, to his waiting police jeep, parked at the other end of the alley. She took a seat in the passenger side, while he climbed in and they took off.

"I'm glad that I found you," Hale spoke up, breaking the silence that had been in the jeep. "Jax is worried about you." He turned to look at her.

Tara frowned. "Oh, he's worried?" She asked, as if that was surprising. "How nice of him," she replied, sarcastically. She looked out of the passenger window.

"What happened between the two of you? You used to be so happy," Hale voiced his observations.

"Yes, well...it's not my fault that he took up with his baby mama once again," she replied, bitterly.

"With Wendy?" Hale repeated, incredulously. "You must be mistaken," he shook his head, incomprehensibly.

"No, I'm not mistaken. She told me so herself," Tara replied. "I don't want to talk about it." She stubbornly crossed her arms across her chest.

"Well, I _do_," Hale replied back. "It doesn't make any sense. Why would he hook up with Wendy? He didn't mention that to me. He asked me to look out for you while he's in Ireland," he explained.

"He did?" she replied. She was surprised.

"Yes, he did."

"Oh," Tara didn't know what to say. "He's bringing Abel home. That's great for him. Did he really ask you to look out for me?" She asked, curiously.

"Yes," Hale answered. He studied her for a moment. "He needs you, Tara," he told her.

"Abel has Wendy. She's his mother," Tara replied, misunderstanding what Hale had meant.

"Not Abel...Jax," he explained. "I'm not very close to him, but he looked..."

"What?" she asked, curiously.

"He looked haggard. Sad. Depressed. He didn't look like the Jax that I know," he explained. "What happened, Tara? Want to talk to me about it?"

She shook her head. "No," she replied, in a low sounding voice. "I just want you to drop me off at home and leave me alone."

"Okay, but know that I'm here if you need anything or a shoulder to cry on," he offered.

He dropped her off at home; where Tara got ready for bed. She laid in her bed and remembered what Hale had told her. _Jax still cared for her?_ She was surprised about it. A part of her wondered if Wendy had told her the whole truth.

It didn't matter though, she realized. She was better off without him and he was better off without her, she determined. She only wished that this pain would go away. _Please, would it go away soon? _

_

* * *

_

The next day, Tara went grocery shopping. She was picking out fruit when she heard a voice beside her say, "that one's too ripe."

She turned to look at the person, only to groan. It was Gemma. Next to Jax, she was the last person she wanted to see. She moved on to the next type of fruit.

"You're not even going to say, 'hi'?" Gemma asked, curiously. She studied Tara carefully, trying to gauge how she would ask her questions that would give her the right answers. She had trained Tara herself. Tara would make it difficult for her to find out what had happened between them. But she was the teacher and Tara was still the student. She knew that she would find out someway or another. Tara still had a lot to learn.

"Hi," Tara replied, graciously, then proceeded to look over more fruit. She put some in a plastic bag and measured them on the weigh scale.

"Jax and Clay are bringing Abel home," Gemma spoke up thoughtfully. "I'm so glad that our family will be reunited...you know that family means everything to me..." she stared at her pointedly.

"I'm glad that Abel is alright," Tara replied, relieved that that whole drama was over. Now, if only Gemma would leave her alone, she could move on too.

"We're having a party tonight. I want you to come," she invited. "You don't have to bring anything. But I want you to be there. You're Abel's mother."

Tara looked at Gemma, her eyes suddenly full of tears. "I wish I were," she choked. Realizing that she was this close to telling Gemma everything, she put the bag of fruit in her cart and walked away.

Gemma followed. Tara rolled her eyes when she realized that Gemma was walking next to her, as if they were grocery shopping together.

"Look...I don't know what happened between you and Jax..." she paused, hoping that Tara might fill her in on everything, but she didn't push. "But I want you to be there. I think of you as my own daughter."

"That's nice," she replied, as she stopped and faced her. Gemma stopped too. "But you have Wendy now. You can mold _her_ into what you are."

Gemma digested that thought. "Oh honey..." she moaned, as tears sprang to her eyes. "I don't want Wendy as a daughter. I only want you," she confessed. Gemma suddenly realized that Tara was who her son needed the most. He was a different kind of man when he was with Tara. He was someone who she could be proud of. His father would be proud too, she thought.

What a one-eighty from not too long ago, Tara thought. She used to hate her and had tried many things to get rid of her in the past. It was only because of Gemma's rape that brought the two of them closer together. Now, Tara thought of Gemma as her mom too. She felt sad. They couldn't be that way anymore.

"I'm sorry, Gemma," she replied, trying to fight back the tears. "I can't be that person anymore. I hope you could understand that."

Gemma decided that she needed to be tough. "What I understand is; you are being selfish...yes, _selfish," _she replied, as she noticed the shocked expression on Tara's face. "You think that someone who isn't selfish would let some drug addicted junkie let her care for her son?" She asked, curiously.

"But I'm not-"

"Yes, you are," Gemma interrupted, furiously. "You may not be biologically related, but he knows you better than he does Wendy. Abel needs a mother like you. Wendy sure as hell won't be the mother that he needs. This has nothing to do with Jax, although I have to admit...you're perfect for him too." She paused, as she tried to think of something else to convince her. "Please, it would mean the world to me if you could be there. I promise, I won't ask anything of you ever again," she pleaded.

Tara could feel herself relenting under Gemma's tearful, puppy dog stare. She rolled her eyes and she groaned. "Oh, okay...you've convinced me. But I'm not going to stay there long and you better keep Wendy away from me," she negotiated.

"Fine by me, sweetie," Gemma replied with a smile on her face. She wanted to get out of there before Tara changed her mind. She leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "See you later." With that, she walked away.

Tara watched her go, wondering how in the world Gemma had convinced her to go to the party.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: Thanks so much for all of your comments! I really appreciate them! Are you ready for round one between Wendy and Tara? Well, read this next chapter! I hope you like it! Let the bell begin to ring...ding, ding, ding!  
_

_Disclaimer: Characters are the property of the producers of Sons of Anarchy, I own nothing. _

_Rated: M (for sexual content, some violence and coarse language)_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 3**

The party was in full swing by the time Tara showed up at Clay and Gemma's house. She took one last once-over at her outfit before she knocked on the door. She was wearing tight-fitting jeans and a tank top. She had taken extra care with applying her makeup. She had let her hair down. She wasn't dressed to impress, but she didn't look too terrible either. It would have to do, she thought to herself.

She knocked on the door and Clay answered almost right away. Seeing her, he took her in his arms and gave her a warm bear hug.

"Glad you could make it," he told her, appreciatively. "No matter what has happened…you belong here with us. You're family and you're a part of this club."

Gemma came to the door. She was wearing a pleased expression on her face too. "Come on in, sweetie. I know that you could probably use a stiff drink." She dragged Tara over to where the alcohol was. "What's your poison?" she asked, fully aware that Tara felt uncomfortable.

Tara told her and Gemma poured her a drink. They made small talk and moved their way into the living room, where everyone else had gathered.

Tara spotted Jax across the room, holding baby Abel and Wendy sat next to him. They looked like a happy family. It made her feel sick to her stomach. She tried turning around to head back the same way she had come in, but Gemma stood in her way.

"Oh, no you don't," Gemma advised. She looked over at Jax, Wendy and little Abel. "Be brave. I know you can do it," she coached.

Tara rolled her eyes. "Gemma…" she moaned.

"Look, I have confidence in you. I trained you. You know what you have to do. Be brave. Wendy is just some skanky drug-addicted whore. She has nothing on you."

Tara turned back around and stared across the room. Before she could move, Tig came over and gave her a hug. Same with the rest of the club and their families. They welcomed her with open arms, saying how much they had missed her, even though it had only been four days.

Tara was stunned speechless. She let them take her further into the room. She sat down in a chair at the opposite end of the room from Jax and his family. She glanced his way and found that he was staring at her hard. She felt breathless and afraid. She knew that he would use the first opportunity to come over and talk to her.

Gemma, being Gemma…noticed what was going on. She walked over to where Wendy was seated and asked her to come help her out in the kitchen. It was obvious to Tara what Gemma was up to. It made her more uncomfortable than ever.

She made small talk with Juice and Opie, until she found that her drink was dry. She stood up and headed towards the kitchen. Jax had noticed of course and moved too. He stood in front of her, blocking her path.

"Hey Tara," he greeted her, as he stared, searching her face for answers.

She knew that he was full of unanswered questions and was waiting for the perfect moment to ask them. The look in his eyes reminded her of a lion stalking it's prey.

"Hi Jax," she greeted him. She moved to go around, but he moved to stand in her way. "Come on, Jax," she begged. She hoped that he didn't want to have a confrontation there in the living room, right in front of everybody else. "Let me go."

"No," he refused. "We need to talk, Tara."

"I don't want to talk."

"Too bad," he insisted. He grabbed her by the arm and led her down the hallway, where they could have some privacy from watchful eyes and loud voices.

They stood and faced each other. He had a curiously puzzled expression on his face, while Tara's looked frustrated. Jax held Abel in his arms. When Abel saw Tara standing there, he smiled at her. Tara couldn't help but smile back.

"You see?" Jax pointed out. "Abel misses you…same with me," he continued. "Tara…" he paused, suddenly unsure of what he wanted to say next. "What happened? Why did you leave?"

She felt guilty. She knew that she owed him some sort of explanation. "Why don't you ask Wendy what happened? I hear that she's _practically_ moved in," she replied, sarcastically.

He stared at her, wondering what the hell Tara was talking about. "What do you mean? Why would Wendy know?"

Tara wanted to groan. Either Jax was too stupid to see what Wendy was up to, or he was refusing to admit that he had moved on. "Again, why don't you ask her? She seems to know _everything." _She tried to move around him, but he refused to move.

Abel babbled in baby talk. Tara's heart melted. He had grown so big since the last time she'd seen him.

"Mind if I hold him? I've missed him so much," she asked, hopefully.

He willingly handed him to her. Their hands brushed against each others' and both of them felt a jolt of electricity shoot through them. He watched, as she took him into her arms and began cooing at him. "He hasn't forgotten you, you know," he told her, softly, as he watched the way they were around each other. "You're still his mother," he added, in a much softer voice. "I need to know, Tara. I won't give up until you tell me."

Tara didn't want to talk to Jax about what had happened with them, but she did want to talk about Abel. "What happened when you found him? Was it hard to get him back?" It was a good, safe topic to talk about.

"The Belfast chapter had someone looking after him. He was well looked after over there. And no, we made an easy deal that would be profitable for everybody," he replied, telling her briefly, what had happened in Ireland. He was about to say more, when Wendy came stomping down the hallway and interrupted them.

"There you are," she exclaimed. "I was looking all over the house for you," she gushed, charmingly at Jax. She looked at Abel in Tara's arms and frowned. "Tara, what are you doing here? I thought this party was for family _only_?" She smirked at her.

"Tara _is_ family," Jax spoke up, defending Tara's right to be there. Abel started to fuss. He turned towards Tara. "I think it's time for his diaper to be changed." He took him out of Tara's arms and walked away from them, into the bathroom and closed the door. Tara wished that Jax hadn't left her alone with this she-devil.

"Pretty daring of you to invite yourself to this party, isn't it little party crasher?" Wendy replied, not very friendly.

"Actually…Gemma _invited_ me here," Tara pointed out. "I only agreed because I wanted to see Abel again."

"I don't want you near my baby," Wendy replied, angrily.

Tara glared at her. "Since when? I seem to recall that you appreciated the fact I saved him and I was dedicated as his doctor."

"I'm not going to get into an argument about this with you, but you're in love with Jax and I think that you would use Abel to get him."

"I would _never_ do such a thing," Tara objected. "Sounds like you're feeling guilty."

Their argument was interrupted when Jax came out of the bathroom, holding Abel. Both women gazed at him, appreciatively. They enjoyed seeing this fatherly side of him.

Tara used it to make a quick getaway. "Well, I've got to go. I only came by to see Abel. Jax, I'm glad that you have him back." She quickly walked away from Jax and Wendy, towards the living room.

He watched, speechless, as she left. He completely ignored Wendy's astonished look on her face and her anger that he wasn't paying attention to her. He watched from across the room as Tara bade her farewells to Gemma and Clay, and left out the front door. Realizing belatedly, that Tara was making a quick getaway, therefore leaving his questions unanswered, he handed Abel over to Wendy and went to race after her. Gemma stepped in front of him and refused to move.

"What the hell happened?" She asked, curiously. She was angry that her plan to reunite Tara and Jax hadn't worked.

"_Nothing_ happened," Jax replied, his gaze moved to the door that Tara had just exited. "Out of my way, mom. I need to see if I can stop her," he pleaded. Gemma moved aside, since she knew that look in Jax's face. She wanted them to get things patched up anyways.

He moved around her and walked out the door. He got outside, just as Tara had pulled away from the curb and drove off out of sight.

Gemma watched Wendy return to the living room with little Abel. She glared across the room at her. She knew that Wendy had interrupted Jax and Tara. That would not do. She would have to come up with a plan to get rid of Wendy somehow. She just need time to think.

* * *

Tara jogged by the park. She had her iPod on. She was listening to some music that would make her mood happier, but she wasn't having much luck.

A car slowed down next to her. She wouldn't have paid much attention to it, but she recognized both the car and the driver. She groaned. _What now?_ She wondered to herself. She stopped jogging, took off her headphones and waited for the occupant to get out of the car.

Gemma climbed out of the car, took her sunglasses off and placed them on her head like a headband. She walked up to Tara, standing on the sidewalk.

"What are you doing here?" Tara wondered, curiously.

"I followed you," Gemma shrugged. "I don't understand how you could run in this type of heat. It's sweltering outside," she fanned herself for effect.

"Why were you following me?" she asked, afraid of the answer.

"Because sweetie…you and me have to make a plan," Gemma replied.

"A plan for…what?" Tara asked, now even more scared. She hated Gemma's plans because someone usually got hurt.

"A plan for you and Jax to get back together again," she explained. She wouldn't let Tara get a word in edgewise because she knew that she would object. "I've decided to help you. I know why the two of you didn't talk last night at the party. It was because of Wendy, isn't it? We need to get rid of her somehow." She bit her lip in thought, as she tried to do come up with a plan to do just that.

"Get rid of?" Tara repeated, stunned. She must have misheard Gemma. "What do you mean by that, Gemma?" She asked, hesitantly. She suddenly grew fearful because she knew that when Gemma wanted to get rid of someone, it wasn't a pretty sight. She had been a victim herself at one time.

"Well, I'm not planning on _killing_ her…unless she makes it real easy on us and decides to start her drug habit up again. We need to come up with something else. I want you to be a part of it, sweetie, because it's your life. I want you to take control. I want you to fight for what's yours."

Tara couldn't believe what Gemma was suggesting. She stared at her, incredulously. "I already told you that it's over between me and Jax."

"Yes, you did," she agreed. "But I _disagree_. Last night, when the two of you looked at each other, a person would have to be an idiot to get caught in between the looks you two were exchanging. It reminded me of my hot flashes. What happened?" She asked, mostly curious because she had to know _everything_ about _everyone_. "Did you and Wendy have a fight?" She seemed pleased by this.

"You're observant," she spoke sarcastically.

"Only because I _care,_" Gemma amended. "Tell me, Tara. What really happened between you and Jax? None of this makes any kind of sense."

"Promise me that you won't tell Jax?" she asked, hopefully. "I feel bad enough as it is." Tara realized that she needed someone to talk to. Someone who was a woman and might be able to understand.

"Fine," she sighed. "Okay, sweetie. There's a bench over there," she pointed. "Let's sit down and have a nice little chat." She guided the two of them to the park bench and they sat down.

Tara told her about the whole thing. How she'd been feeling ever since Abel had been kidnapped. How Wendy had returned and Jax had comforted Wendy, but hadn't tried to comfort her, even though she was missing Abel too. She told her about how she suspected that Jax blamed her for what happened. And last but not least, Tara told her about what Wendy had told her in the washroom in the bar.

"How dare that _bitch_ say those things to you?" Gemma exclaimed, outraged. Tara noticed that Gemma was quick to take her own side. "Did she _really_ say that she and Jax were back together again?" She asked, incredulously.

"Well, I'm not sure. But she insinuated that they were. I'm sorry, Gemma. It's a lost cause. Wendy is Abel's mom. I don't know how I can compete with that," she apologized and shrugged her shoulders.

"Humph," she replied. "We'll see about that."

"What are you going to do?" she asked, after seeing that look in Gemma's eyes. She knew that look…she meant business. She was now afraid of what Gemma was going to do. It reminded her that it was smart to have her on your side instead of your enemy.

"Nothing, sweetie. I'm just going to make a few facts known to her and remind her of who's _really_ in charge."

Gemma hugged her and they said their goodbyes. She watched Gemma climb into her car and drive away. Tara couldn't help it, she felt a sense of dread. She almost wished that she hadn't told her, but she was relieved that she had taken her side. She had felt so alone before.

It was a little while later. Tara was almost to her house. She could hear the roar of a motorcycle pulling up next to her. She glanced at who it was and she groaned. What were the chances? It wasn't Gemma this time, obviously. It was Jax himself. She pretended to ignore him. Maybe he would go away?

Jax was driving his bike towards Tara's house, when he spotted her jogging. He rolled up to the curb and rode along beside her for a ways. Tara glanced over at him, then kept jogging. He knew that she was pretending to ignore him. It made him smile.

At the next intersection she crossed, he steered right in front of her, effectively cutting her off. She stared at him with a shocked expression on her face.

_He could have run her over, for pete's sake!_ She thought to herself, angrily. She was stunned.

He grinned at her, with a wicked expression on his face. He was wearing sunglasses, but yet, she could still feel the heat in his gaze. He looked at her from head to toe. She was wearing a tank top, that cut off mid-section and shorts that fit a little bit too tight. The way he gazed at her, made her think that she was completely naked and standing there for all the world to see.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked, frustrated, angry and confused.

"Coming to see you," he replied. He kicked the kick-stand down on his bike and climbed off. He reached for her, but she had seen him coming, so she backed away from him. He shrugged, as if it didn't mean anything. But it did…he hated that she wanted to have nothing to do with him anymore. The fact that she didn't want him to touch her spoke volumes.

"Why?" she demanded, frustrated and angry that she was seeing his handsome face and had been having troubles forgetting about him. She had to keep reminding herself that he had pushed her away and he wasn't hers anymore.

"Because we need to talk, Tara. You still haven't explained to me why you ran out," he explained, reasonably, calmly and rationally.

"I don't want to talk to you right now," she tried to move around him and the bike.

He blocked her way. "I know that, but it's the least you can do. You do owe me an explanation or I will _never_ leave you alone," he threatened.

"Okay," she relented. "But we'll talk at my house. Not here, out in the open."

He allowed her to start walking, climbed on his bike and drove to her place. Of course, he beat her there by a mile. He was leaning against his bike when she finally walked up to her front step. He followed. She sat down and he sat down next to her.

"What's going on Tara?" he asked. "Everything was going so good…what happened?"

Tears suddenly came to her eyes. She was frustrated and felt like he didn't understand her. "You know the answer to that," she replied.

He looked at her, both puzzled and confused. "No I don't. Tell me."

"Okay," she agreed. "You want to know what happened?" she cried. "I'll tell you, since it's obvious that you're clueless!" She started to cry at the thought that he just couldn't see, when it was so obvious to her.

"Hey," Jax wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him. He felt Tara stiffen in his arms. He was disappointed because he was only trying to comfort her. What had he done wrong? "Why are you crying?"

Tara wanted to scream. Had Jax always been this dense when it came to women? She decided that she better clue him in, then she could get on with her own life. "Okay, here goes…"

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: Thanks so much for all of you great comments and reviews! I'm glad that you're enjoying the story! Will Tara explain to Jax why she broke up with him? Read this next chapter to find out! I hope you like it! _

_Disclaimer: Characters are the property of the production company who created Sons of Anarchy. I'm only borrowing them for awhile. _

_Rated: M (sexual content, some violence and coarse language) _

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**Chapter 4**

"Why are you so kind and understanding with Wendy, but not with me? Why did you comfort her, but never with me? Why did you push me away, when all I wanted to do was be there for you when Abel was kidnapped?" Tara asked Jax, as she sat on her front step next to him. "How could you sleep with her, just because we had one little argument?"

Jax blinked, after hearing her questions and accusations. "What the fuck are you talking about, Tara?"

"You wanted to know why I left you, so I'm telling you," she pointed out. "Answer those questions, then you _might_ get your answers."

"I don't understand what you're trying to ask me," he frowned. "I was kind with Wendy because she's Abel's mother. She had just found out about her son. How could you fault me for that? I felt like I was the only one who could understand what she was really going through," he explained. "And I don't know when you thought that we have slept together because I don't seem to recall it," he struggled to remember.

Then, it hit him. _How could he have forgotten? _To him, it was easy to forget. They had turned to each other out of need. It had meant nothing to him. _How had she found out about the night of Donna's wake? Had Wendy mentioned something to her? _No wonder Tara had dumped him, he figured. He knew what he had to do. He had to do some pretty fast talking in order to try to convince her.

"I'm sorry, Tara," he apologized, as guilt gripped him like a two-ton weight. It ripped his heart in two. "I know that words aren't enough. But I didn't realize what I was doing to you or to me. I'm sorry."

"No matter what you say or how often you apologize; it doesn't excuse the way you treated me," she replied, angrily. "When Abel went missing-did you _ever_ think that I might want or need some comfort too?" She shook her head, 'no'. "Did you think that I might want to comfort you?" Again, she shook her head, 'no'. "No, all you wanted was for me to leave you alone. You pushed me away, as if it were _my_ fault that Abel was kidnapped," she explained, her eyes full of tears. "I'm not even going to talk about what happened between you and Wendy. I know that we had a fight that night, so I'm at fault too. But the fact remains...how could I trust you after all of that? I don't think that I can do this anymore. Your actions proved to me that you don't really need or care about me nearly the same way I care about you."

She burst into tears next to him; sad and disappointed by how things had ended up. Jax tried comforting her again, but she jumped up and put her hand on the door knob of her door; prepared to enter.

"Don't touch me. I can't look at you right now. We both have a lot to be sorry for Jax, but things are definitely over between us. I don't want to see you ever again," she cried. She entered the house and closed the door, leaving Jax sitting on the front step all alone.

He sat there for awhile and remembered all of what Tara had told him. He felt a tremendous amount of guilt. He had a bad taste in his mouth. His misconceptions about what had happened were suddenly destroyed by how Tara thought of things. Had he really pushed her away? Had he taken her for granted? Why hadn't he noticed that she was in some kind of pain too? Was he _that_ selfish, that he had pushed away the one person who mattered the most? He slowly got up, feeling sick to his stomach.

There was only one thing left to do. He was going to go to the club and get good and stinking drunk. He was going to volunteer to do whatever job was the most dangerous and illegal. It didn't matter what happened to him now. In trying to do what he had thought, at the time, was the right thing; he had lost the one person who he had loved the most.

He drove away from Tara's house, knowing that this would be the last time he would ever see her again. The future stretched out before him was long, sad and depressing.

* * *

Jax sat in the clubhouse, where he had been drinking for awhile; when Gemma came in. She saw him sitting there and her heart broke for him. Clay had called her office and told her that Jax was drinking himself into a stupor. She had called Tara right away to find out why. Tara had told her (while crying her own heart out) that she had told Jax the real reasons why she had left him.

It hurt Gemma to see both of them this way. Tara was at home crying. Jax was drowning his sorrows in booze. She needed to do something and fast.

She approached her son, both cautiously and with sympathy. She knew what it was like to have your heart ripped in two. She had never wanted to see her son go through something like this. That had been one of the reasons why she had never liked the fact that he had fallen in love with Tara to begin with. She had known back then, that Tara would be the one person to break her little boy's heart.

She couldn't fault Tara for her feelings either. Jax _had_ pushed her away, when Tara had been only trying to help. Tara wasn't at fault for what happened with Abel. She knew that Tara had good reasons for breaking things off. It made her sad. Wendy was a bitch and the sooner she was out of the picture, it would be better for all involved.

"Hey, honey," she sat down next to him. "Kind of early to be drinking, isn't it?"

"Fuck off, mom," he replied, trying to dismiss her. He wanted to be left alone. He didn't want any company right now, even if it was his own mother.

"I know that you're angry and sad, but still...that's no way to talk to your mother," she replied. "I should have washed out your mouth with soap years ago."

"Oh, since when do you care?" Jax asked, sarcastically. He turned to look at her. "What are you doing here anyways? Shouldn't you be working?"

"I am...but Clay called me and told me to come over here. He thought I could reason with you," she explained, shrugging her shoulders.

Jax swore under his breath. "Clay should learn to mind his own business," he replied.

"And you should learn something about women," Gemma retorted, angrily. "Women are different creatures. Do you _really_ think that Tara isn't the same? She's a woman too. You messed up, honey. Big time. What the hell were you thinking, when you slept with that no-good druggie again?" She asked.

"I'm assuming that you're talking about Wendy?"

"Yes, I'm talking about Wendy!" She replied. "How could you be so stupid?"

"Look mom...I don't want to talk about this. Don't you think that I feel guilty about it enough as it is? Don't you think that I'll regret that until the day I die?" He pointed out. "It cost me Tara. Don't you think that I realize that I made a huge mistake?" He paused. "Mom...I've lost her."

Suddenly, Jax did something that surprised everyone else in the room. He burst into tears in front of them. It wasn't what those in the club wanted to see from the V.P. They watched him with alarm and apprehension.

Gemma took Jax into her arms and held him. He cried into her shoulder.

"I've lost her, mom. I can't do this," he cried. His body shook with tremors throughout his whole body.

"Don't be silly, honey," she tried comforting him. "It's not the end of the world. You could still win her back."

Jax raised his head and stared at her. "You really think so? You weren't the one who saw her face when she told me that she didn't want me to see her ever again."

"Honey," she sighed. "She loves you. She's hurting. You're hurting. You love her too, don't you?" she asked.

"Of course I do," he replied. "Other than you and Abel, she's the only one I'll ever truly love."

"There's still a chance then. You could try to win her back."

"How do you think I could do that? I feel like I don't deserve her. She deserves someone who's better than me."

"Of course you don't deserve her. But that only means you have to prove it to her that you _do_. You have your father's heart. You're a good man and a son that I'm proud of. You deserve to be happy. But first, you can't win her back if you're drinking yourself blind. I want you to stop drinking. I want you to go home to shower and change. You can't do anything until you've cleaned yourself up."

Jax studied his mother for a long time. "You have some kind of plan don't you?"

Gemma smiled. "You know me too well," she agreed. "Now, I'm going to take you home. You're going to sleep this off. Tomorrow, you and I will start to put my plan into motion."

"What about Wendy?" Jax asked, suddenly remembering her. "She could be a problem."

"Let me worry about poor Wendy," she winked at him. "Your job is to worry about Tara and Abel. Now here's my plan..."

After she revealed her plan to Jax, he was feeling a little bit better. If there was one thing he knew, Tara was stubborn. He hoped that Gemma's plan would work. If it didn't...well, he refused to think about it. It was the only thing keeping his hopes alive. He needed Tara back in his life and in his home. It was where she belonged.

* * *

Tara needed her hair trimmed and styled. She went into the hair salon for her appointment. She groaned when she entered and noticed Wendy sitting in one of the chairs waiting to be served. She sat down across the room from her, afraid that if she sat any closer, it would only encourage Wendy to talk to her. It didn't.

Wendy switched places and sat down right next to her.

"So, how are things going with Jax?" Wendy asked her, already knowing the answer. "I guess not great, huh?" She had a smug expression on her face.

"Go away Wendy," she sighed. She didn't want to get into this with her, and definitely not in a public establishment. "You know..._I_ decided to leave _him_, not the other way around." She pointed out.

"Oh, I know. Have I thanked you yet?" Wendy agreed happily.

"You know, gloating isn't an attractive trait, if you know what I mean. I'm surprised that you think that I care."

"Oh, you care," Wendy replied, knowing the truth. "You just refuse to acknowledge that Abel is a bond between Jax and me that you can't possibly break. Give up. Move on. I bet you wished that you were me."

Tara laughed and shook her head. "I could _never_ wish to be you. A drug user. An addict. I bet you're proud of the fact that Abel's birth was a miracle because of _you_. How was rehab by the way? I see that they couldn't rehabilitate your personality."

"I'm not saying that I'm perfect," she replied. "I'm only saying that my bond with Jax can never be erased. I'm Abel's mother. Jax and I will always have a connection. What do you have?"

Tara was speechless for a few moments. Wendy made it difficult to hold a polite conversation. She was this close to walking out and leaving her hair appointment for some other time. She hated the fact that it seemed like Wendy was only using Abel as a means to hold on to Jax. "I can't believe that you are proud of the fact that you would use a baby to hold on to him. That's low...even for you." She shook her head in disbelief.

"Hey, I'm not admitting anything. But if I were you...I'd run and keep running. Know when to quit. Jax is mine now. You will _never_ get him back."

"Do you honestly think that I want him back after you've slept with him? Who knows where _you've_ been?" Tara gagged so that Wendy could see. "I hope that you get yourself tested regularly."

Wendy laughed, enjoying their wordplay. "Trust me, I do. Jax isn't an angel either and we both know it. I wonder how many other women he's slept with besides us?" She speculated.

Tara hated the fact that Wendy had a point there. How things were run in the club was full of double standards. The man could cheat all he wanted to, but God forbid if his woman tried to do it too. They looked at their women as possessions; who they could order around and use as they saw fit. It was a backwards kind of society, which reminded Tara that maybe she was making the right decision after all?

The hairdresser called Wendy's name. Wendy stood up and followed her. Soon, Tara's own name was called. They sat in chairs next to each other. They pretended to ignore each other and kept glancing at each other in the mirrors. Tara heard Wendy tell her hairdresser how and what she wanted. She was going to have her hair colored.

Suddenly, she got a brilliant idea. Since Wendy obviously didn't take her seriously, then she would point out to her, how serious she actually was. Tara told her hairdresser that she wanted to use the washroom before they got started.

She went to the back and found the area where they kept hair colors and supplies. Tara grinned, as she noticed a tube that had Wendy's name on it. She picked it up and found another bottle. She mixed them together, so that the color would be something unusual. She sat the bottle back down again.

As her hairdresser worked, they exchanged small talk. Tara grinned, when she noticed that it was time for Wendy's hairdresser to apply the color that she had mixed in the back. She wanted to hang around until Wendy saw the final result.

It was wicked and mean, but Gemma had taught her well. It would be something that she would do if she were in Tara's shoes.

They washed, cut and styled her hair. Soon, Tara was done, but she pretended to look over the merchandise in the salon. Should she get some special shampoo or some hairspray? She waited around for when Wendy would be finished with hers.

She heard Wendy scream. She grinned, as everyone in the salon turned to look over at her. She had to laugh...Wendy's hair was now a nice shade of blue. It made Tara happy. As if knowing who was behind it, Wendy turned to look over at her with a shocked and horrified expression on her face. Tara waved goodbye and laughed. Satisfied that she'd had the last laugh, she left the hairdressers' and headed towards the garage where Gemma worked.

This was something that she had to tell Gemma in person. She couldn't wait.

She drove into the parking lot and noticed that Jax's bike wasn't around. That was good, she thought. She didn't have to worry about seeing him. She knocked on the door to Gemma's office.

"Come in," Gemma called out. She looked up and smiled when she noticed Tara standing there. "Hi, how are you?" She greeted her. "Have you come up with any ideas about you-know-who?" she wondered.

"Even better, you won't believe what I just did..." Tara told her everything that had happened at the salon.

Gemma burst out laughing. "Oh my God," she exclaimed in between fits of laughter. "I'm proud of you, sweetie."

"You know Gemma, I'm proud of myself too. I didn't think that I was so devious and mean, but it feels good."

"I know," she winked at her. "It's a satisfying feeling." She paused. "Hey, what are your plans later?"

"Nothing, why?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to come over for coffee. It'll be just the two of us. We can catch up," she coaxed.

"Sure, why not? Maybe you can give me some more ideas for the next time Wendy confronts me," she agreed.

They parted ways. Tara left, relieved that there was still no sign of Jax. She could do this...be friends with his mother, she thought to herself. She just had to make sure that Jax wasn't anywhere around at the time.

Jax got off the phone with his mom. She had told him that Tara was coming by her place for some coffee. _She was going to get a whole lot more than that_, he figured. It was all a part of the plan. He was grateful that Tara still felt comfortable around his mom. He didn't think that he would have this chance, if she didn't.

Wendy came through the door in tears. Jax turned towards her at the sound. The first thing he noticed, was the color of her hair.

"Oh my God, what the hell happened to your hair?" he asked, incredulously. "It's blue."

"That _bitch_ that you used to sleep with, did this to me, I _know_ it," Wendy told him, angrily. "My hairdresser told me that I have to wait to have it redone because it would be harmful to my hair," she complained.

Jax couldn't help it, he laughed. It was such an unusual color.

"This...is...not...funny," she remarked.

Jax tried to control his laughter, but it was difficult to do. "I can't believe that you think that _Tara_ had anything to do with this," he told her, automatically defending her.

"Well, she did. You should have seen the way that that bitch laughed at me."

If Jax didn't know that his mom had been coaching Tara on how to be around the club, he wouldn't have believed it. He couldn't help it. This made him happy. If she had done something like this...does that mean that he still had a chance? Tara wouldn't have done anything to Wendy if she didn't care about him still.

"Well, I'm sorry that this happened to you-" _Not_, he added in his mind. "But I have to go since you're home and can watch Abel."

"Where the hell are you going? You have to take care of me," Wendy cried. She wrapped her arms around his middle, hoping that he would comfort her. "Please don't go," she begged.

Jax disentangled himself from her arms. "I'm sorry...it's club business. Besides..." he tried to keep a straight face. "I can't look at you right now and not laugh. You don't need that."

Wendy stood shell-shocked, as she watched Jax leave. She vowed that she would get even with Tara, if it were the last thing she ever did.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note: Thanks so much for all of your great comments and reviews! I really appreciate it! I'm glad that you're enjoying my story! Are you ready for another round of Wendy VS Tara? Here you go! Who will win this one? _

_Disclaimer: Characters are the property of the producers of the TV series, Sons of Anarchy. I own nothing and get nothing for doing this. _

_Rated M: For sexual content, some violence and coarse language _

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**Chapter 5**

Tara showed up on Gemma's doorstep with a huge grin on her face. She still couldn't believe that she had ruined Wendy's hair or the fact that she had done something like that in the first place. It really wasn't like her, but Wendy had pushed the wrong button at the right time. One thing Gemma had taught her was how to stand up for herself.

Gemma answered the door and gave her a warm hug. She studied her carefully before laughing. "I can't wait to see Wendy the next time she visits," she exclaimed eagerly.

"It really is a great shade of blue," Tara remarked and grinned.

Tara sat down at the kitchen table. Gemma poured them each a cup of coffee and carried them to the table.

"Where did you get an idea like that from?" Gemma asked, curiously.

"Well...in school, we had to take chemistry. I learned that some chemicals don't react well to others. It's the same with hair color. That's why you have to be careful when mixing them and can't use them after a certain amount of time. I thought it was rather ingenious of me," she grinned. "I knew you'd be proud."

"I am," she agreed. "What will you do the next time she does something?" Gemma wondered.

Tara took a sip of her coffee before answering. "Well, I figured you and I could come up with something. We both know that she's going to come after me the first chance she gets." Tara shrugged. "What do you suggest?" She was still new to this kind of thing.

The door opened and Jax entered, startling Tara. She froze, stunned beyond belief. Had Gemma set this up? She was suddenly angry for being duped. She turned on Gemma.

"Did you plan for him to show up?" she cried, jerking her thumb towards Jax. She was angry and outraged.

"Um...no, sweetie," Gemma lied to save face. She looked over at Jax for some sort of backup.

"I can't believe this...I'm leaving," Tara cried. She pushed her chair back from the table and got to her feet.

Jax stood in front of her, blocking her way, so that she couldn't leave. "Tara..." he begged, hoping that she would forgive him.

"No Jax," she interrupted, not giving him a chance. "I told you. I don't want to see you. I can't be around you ever again. I just can't-" She moved around him and left quickly through the door.

"Don't just stand there...go after her," Gemma urged, still seated at the table. "I'm sorry, Jax," she added, right before he left.

Jax caught up to Tara before she could climb into her car. He used his body to press her up against the car door, so she couldn't escape.

Immediately, Tara could feel the heat of his body pressed up against hers. She ached for him something fierce, but she refused to give in. Everywhere his body touched, sent sensations through her. She had to fight her feelings. She couldn't lose control.

"You aren't leaving until I tell you what I have to say," Jax told her. He could smell her sweet scent. He could feel her soft body pressed up against his. He had to fight to control his emotions because his body wanted her passionately. He could feel his heart race; both in fear and in desire.

"Okay," she relented, knowing that if she let him speak, then she would be able to leave sooner, she reasoned with herself.

"First of all, Tara," Jax began, realizing that he had his chance. It would have to be quick. He knew that she would run the first chance she got. "Can you feel this? Do you feel your body pressed up against mine? Do you feel the way our bodies react when we touch each other?" He took her hand and pressed it against his heart.

Tara nodded her head. She was looking down at his chest, where her hand was placed. She had to look anywhere but at his face because if she did...she didn't think that she would have the strength to pull herself away from him.

"Is your heart racing too? Do you feel this pull—this tug between us?" he continued. "You can't deny that you don't want me. You know you do. You know you were made for only me." He spoke, softly, so he wouldn't spook her.

Tara stood as still as a jittery horse, as if she had seen something that scared her. He leaned closer and rubbed his cheek against hers.

She could feel his breath against her skin, making her desires rush through her, making her shiver. She tried to be still. His lips skimmed along her skin, her jaw, until she could feel his breath brush against her lips. His mouth was close, it would be nothing for him to close the gap between them.

She was forced to look at his lips as he spoke. Hers went dry. Her tongue flicked out to moisten them. "I know that you want to kiss me right now. I know I sure as hell do," he confessed. "You will never feel this-what you're feeling right now-with anybody else but me. Never. Do you honestly think that you could live without it? Do you honestly think that you could love anybody other than me?" He shook his head, answering the question for her. "I don't think so Tara, no matter how you feel right now. You want me and you will always want me. No matter how many mistakes we both make. You will never love another man as you do me."

He moved away from her. Tara felt bereft, cold and suddenly all alone. She shivered, both from the after effects and from the loss of his body heat. He was right, she knew, but it still didn't change anything. They were from two completely different worlds. She didn't belong in his, any more than he belonged in hers.

"You may be right, Jax," she admitted. "But it still doesn't change things. You pushed me aside, when I needed you too. You slept with Wendy for God's sake, which I'm sure that you regret, but it makes me wonder how much I can trust you? When I'm with you-no matter how often we argue-I would _never_ cheat on you with another man. I value being faithful and monogamous in a relationship. I know your lifestyle is different, but if we're together, I want you to be true to _only_ me. You knew before we started that cheating was a deal breaker for me. I'm sorry, Jax."

With that, she turned and climbed into her car. Jax let her go. He knew that she needed some time. But how long, he wondered. He watched her drive away, sad that what he had said, hadn't really made a difference at all.

* * *

It was a few days later, Tara found herself driving past the garage, just to see if she could catch a glimpse of Jax. Why was she trying to punish herself? She wondered. What did she hope to accomplish? All it did was remind her that she was making the right decision.

But ever since Jax had cornered her at his mom's, the things he had said, had been racing around in her mind. What if he was right? She could regret this decision and end up all alone.

She needed to see Gemma, she thought. She had to tell her what she thought about her devious ways. She wanted Gemma to know that she couldn't use tricks against her, even though a part of her liked the fact that it seemed like Gemma was playing matchmaker. At least this time Gemma approved of her. Unfortunately Tara didn't want Jax anymore or so she tried to convince herself of that every day.

She pulled a U-turn and pulled into the lot. She walked into Gemma's office, at the side of the garage.

"Gemma," she greeted her, as she entered. "We need to talk."

"I'm sorry, Tara," Gemma replied, before Tara could say anything else. "I thought it was a good idea at the time. I hope you won't hold it against me."

Tara shook her head. "As long as you promise me that you won't try to do it again," she said.

Gemma looked disappointed, but she nodded her head anyways. "I promise," she agreed, with her fingers crossed behind her back. She walked around the desk and hugged her. "You're losing weight," she observed.

"Are you surprised?" Tara quipped. "Anyways, I wanted you to know that I forgive you. You're only trying to make your son happy."

"A lot of good it does," she grumbled and complained. "Did you know that Wendy is living with him now?"

"I kind of guessed that would happen."

"Well, it really bothers me. I didn't like her living there before Abel. I don't like her living there now. We need to come up with something to get rid of her," she suggested.

"Get rid of who?" Tig stood at the entrance that led to the garage. "Hi Tara," he greeted her, when he noticed her standing there. "Um, Gemma, there's a problem."

Both Tara and Gemma wondered how much he had heard of their conversation, but were too scared to find out. They exchanged an uncertain look.

Gemma groaned. "What now?" She asked, scared, because Tig often created more problems than he was worth.

"Well...um..." Tig stalled. "You have to come and see..."

Both Tara and Gemma followed Tig out to the garage. They noticed Bobby underneath one of the cars.

Tig turned to them. "Um, Bobby's stuck," he explained.

Tara and Gemma struggled to keep from laughing. How could anyone get themselves stuck under there?

"You see...he didn't move when I asked him to-"

"Who said that you asked me?" Bobby interrupted, from underneath the car.

"...one thing led to another and I pushed the button to lower the car." Tig continued. "It landed on top of him," he lamely finished.

"Are you okay, Bobby?" Gemma asked, concerned about him. She bent over, so that he could see her face.

"Yes," Bobby replied. "I'm not hurt, but...when I get out, that son-of-a-bitch better be gone or else I'm going to stuff him into a trunk...piece by piece," he threatened Tig.

"Hey, it was an accident," he tried to calm Bobby down. "It could happen to anybody." He shrugged.

Bobby glared at Tig from underneath the car.

"Hey, what's going on?" Jax came striding up. He looked at Tara standing there. "Hi," he greeted her in a much softer voice. Opie was with him.

Tara tried to ignore him. She kept her attention focused on Bobby, but she could feel her face grow warm and knew that she was blushing. She was aware of every move Jax made and watched him out of the corner of her eye.

"Hi honey," Gemma kissed Jax's cheek. "We need your help. Bobby is stuck underneath this car. Think you can get him out?"

Jax and Opie fiddled with the equipment, trying to get it moving again. It was no use. It was stuck on something. They tried another tactic, which was to pull Bobby out, but he yelled, saying that he would get hurt if they pulled him out that way.

"Maybe we should get some grease and lather him up," Jax suggested, making a joke.

Everyone laughed, including Tara.

"This is _not_ funny," Bobby complained.

"Says who?" Tig asked, with a grin on his face. "It's hilarious to us."

"Until you find yourself where I am, then you can shove it," Bobby told him.

Clay came in. He stopped when he noticed Bobby and the position he was in. He rolled his eyes. "I'm afraid to ask..." he commented.

"Then don't," Tig replied. "Think you can come up with a way to get him out of there?"

Clay was very creative. He found a jack and used it to hoist the car up off of the ground. Jax and Opie pulled him out.

Tara knelt down next to Bobby to check him out, just in case he was hurt, but wasn't saying anything. He was fine. She stood up and started to leave the garage.

"Tara...wait," Jax called out to her. She turned around. He ran to catch up with her.

"What?"

"Nothing...I'm just glad to see you, that's all," he grinned down at her.

It made her insides melt. He always had a great smile. "I am too," she replied, smiling; for no other reason than he was.

"Well, I'll be seeing you," he told her and gave her a hug.

She was startled. She could smell the cologne that he used and it always drove her wild. She briefly hugged him back.

He regretted having to let her go. It felt so good to have her in his arms.

She drew away, then climbed into her car and backed out of the parking lot.

Gemma strolled up to Jax. "Time for plan B," she told him, as they watched Tara drive away. Jax nodded his head.

* * *

Tara had decided to return to work. She needed the daily interaction with people and she needed to think about something else; other than Jax. It was tiring work, but it was very rewarding. She was very happy to help those in need.

She had been back a few days. She was checking her charts, when she heard a commotion behind her. She turned around.

She wasn't surprised to see Wendy storming towards her, or the angry look in her eyes. Her hair was still blue. It was all Tara could do to keep a straight face. Everyone in the hallway and nursing station stopped and turned to look at Wendy with her blue hair. There was a mixture of startled and astonished looks on peoples' faces. It made Tara want to laugh harder.

"You_ fucking_ bitch!" She shouted at Tara.

Tara looked around her with concern. "Can you please not use that kind of foul language? This is a hospital. There's children around," she pointed out; calmly and rationally.

"Fine," Wendy agreed, once she noticed how they were staring at her. For the past few days, everyone had been staring at her. She _hated_ it. The person responsible needed to be punished. She wanted to make Tara pay for ruining her hair. "Let's go somewhere where we could have some privacy."

Did Wendy think she was stupid? Tara wondered. She looked at her, as if she were on drugs once again. "No, whatever you have to say to me could be said right here." She knew that the patients, doctors, nurses and the patients' families might have a problem with it, but she wanted witnesses; just in case.

"Fine," Wendy agreed. "I know that you had something to do with my hair turning blue," she accused. "I _know_ it. You were the only one there who would want to do something like that."

Tara just smiled. Yep, Wendy was right on that one, she thought to herself. "Prove it," Tara replied aloud. She knew that she was taunting Wendy, but she deserved it. She knew that Wendy was a hot-head, who needed to be brought down a few pegs.

"You know as well as I do, that I don't have _proof_," Wendy replied. "Are you _that _pissed off that I stole your man?" She asked. "Because, honey...you shouldn't have left him in the first place. You're just jealous because I have what you want the most. Abel. A child to bond you to him more than love ever could."

Tara just stared at her. She could smell booze on her breath and it was nauseating. But she had gotten through tough situations before, she could get through this too.

"You're right," Tara agreed. "But just so you know...Jax doesn't love you, he never will. He only cares for you because you're Abel's mother. If he ever takes you to bed again...and that's a big _if_...he would be thinking of _me_ and _not _you." She fixed a fake smile on her face. It hurt her to even say those words, but she knew that they were true. Jax had told her so himself.

"You fucking bitch!" Wendy yelled, then before Tara could react, attacked her by reaching for her hair and pulled on it.

Tara fought back. She grabbed Wendy's blue hair and started to pull. They both went to the ground and made fools of themselves, by fighting like a pair of wrestlers in a wrestling ring.

They scratched, punched, slapped and groped for control. They rolled around on the floor, taking turns on who was on top. Security guards had to be called to break them apart. When they had been pulled away from each other, they were both panting and glared at each other from across the hall.

Jax walked down the hallway and heard some kind of commotion. He was stunned to see Tara and Wendy standing there being held back by the hospital's security. It looked like they had both been fighting. Wendy looked like she had taken the worst of it. She had a bleeding lip, scratches on her face and a black eye. Tara had only a black eye. To him, it meant that Tara had been victorious.

He grinned. Had they been fighting over him? The thought of it, stroked his ego. He was glad that Tara cared enough to get her hands dirty. Wendy was removed and taken to one of the rooms, so that her wounds could be looked after. Tara brushed the lab coat that she wore off, as if she were wiping all the dust and grime off of it. He walked up to her.

"Nice shiner," he commented, with a huge grin on his face. "Looks like I missed out on all the fun." He teased.

Tara didn't say anything, she turned away from him and started to head into one of the exam rooms. She could see the twinkle in his eyes. He had liked the fact that she had fought Wendy, she guessed.

"So, does that mean that you're going to try out for the WWE?" He teased once again.

Tara turned to him, angrily. "Look, you seem to be enjoying the fact that I had to lower myself to her disgusting level, but you don't have to keep making jokes about it. Can't you forget it? I have." She paused. "What are you doing here anyways?"

"I'm here because I heard that you were back to work," he explained. "I missed seeing you in your lab coat with your hair put up." He grinned down at her, flirtatiously.

"Oh," Tara replied, not knowing how to answer. "Well, I'm busy. I have a lot to catch up on so...if you wouldn't mind...?"

"Sure," Jax agreed, amicably. "You probably want me to get out of your hair," he teased once more. "Sorry about the bad pun," he added. He laughed as he walked back down the hallway and disappeared from sight.

Tara waited until he was long gone before a wicked grin appeared on her face. She went into the exam room and treated her black eye. She hoped that her coworkers would forget about the fight.

**TBC**

73D72025-F64B-002B-26B1-61F433EED291

1.03.01


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: Thanks so much for all of your comments, I really appreciate them! I'm glad you're enjoying my fic! Here's the next installment...I hope you like it! _

_Disclaimer: Characters are the property of the creators and producers of the TV series, Sons of Anarchy. I'm only borrowing them for awhile. _

_Rated: M (for sexual content, some violence and coarse language) _

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 6**

After her fight with Wendy, Tara had received a one week suspension from work. It wasn't ethical for a doctor to fight on the premises; blah, blah, blah. Tara understood and had even expected it, but she was disappointed just the same. She had just started to catch up on all that she had missed while on her temporary leave of absence.

One night while she was at home watching TV, her phone rang. She answered, not thinking to look at the call display first. As soon as she heard the voice on the other end, she wanted to hang up. It was Jax.

"Hi," she greeted, quietly, unsure of what to say or what he wanted.

"Tara," he replied. "I need you. I mean-_we_ need you. We have a...situation that we need you to take care of. I wouldn't ask this of you because of what's happened between us but...you're the only one I know who can help us. Could you please help us?" He begged. His voice sounded unsure.

Tara had done some minor surgeries and such for the club in the past. She figured that this was the same sort of thing. "Sure, just let me gather my stuff and I'll meet you. Where are we going to meet?"

"At the clubhouse. I'll be waiting outside."

Jax hung up the phone.

Tara stared at hers, wondering how in the world she had agreed to do this. Not that helping SAMCRO was any different than any other patient. They paid well.

But seeing Jax...it wasn't something that she looked forward to doing, but it was too late now. She had agreed to go and it could really be an emergency. She had grown to care for the members of the club. In the end, she would do whatever it took to save someone's life; especially someone she cared about.

She raced to get ready, gathered up her things, then left her house.

When she arrived, she noticed Jax sitting on his bike having a smoke. He didn't seem to be in a hurry. It must not be a _dire_ emergency, she thought to herself. He smiled when he saw her pull in. He butted out the smoke and walked over to her car. He held the door open for her to climb out.

She carried her medical bag over her shoulder and headed inside. She looked around for the injured person. Jax guided her to the board room where the club held their meetings. Laying on the table was Tig, who had taken a bullet into his shoulder.

"Who's girlfriend were you sleeping with _this_ time?" Tara teased him. She opened up her medical bag and took out the supplies that she needed to take the bullet out.

"Ha, ha," Tig replied. "Ouch!" He exclaimed, as Tara applied some ointment to cleanse his wound. "Jax, I thought you said your woman had a _tender_ touch?"

Jax grinned. He knew that Tig had a big mouth and loved to tease people. He only hated it when others teased him back.

"Only with me, I guess," he replied and shrugged his shoulders. His gaze swept over Tara, as she worked.

Tara felt awkward. She pretended to ignore her feelings, but she felt nervous around him. She hoped he would leave them alone. She hated the way his presence seemed to overwhelm her. He was all she could think about, even while concentrating on Tig's wound.

He watched Tara treat her patient. He had always admired her skills. She was a good doctor, who had saved his son when he'd been born. He would thank his lucky stars for that until the day he died. He just wished that he hadn't fucked things up between them.

The tension between them; you could cut with a knife. If Jax moved an inch closer, Tara would stiffen her back and move further away from him. He hated that this was the state their relationship was in now. He felt sick to his stomach all of a sudden, and had to leave the room. It would be better for both of them, he thought. Tara could concentrate on Trig and he wouldn't be tortured by the way Tara reacted to him.

She noticed Jax leave and she immediately breathed a sigh of relief. Tig, of course, must have heard her.

"What is going on between you and Jax anyways?" He asked, as curious as most of them were in the club. Jax had been very daring in their dealings of late. He had been taking unnecessary risks. It was starting to scare some of them.

"Nothing, why? What has he told you?" She asked curiously. She stopped what she was doing and watched Trig's facial expressions.

"He told us that the two of you broke up," Tig answered. "I'm sorry, you know I wasn't your biggest fan at the beginning, but now I realize you seemed to ground him somehow...kind of like Gemma does with Clay."

"Maybe," she shrugged. She wasn't sure about that. Jax had always seemed to do his own thing, regardless of what she thought about it.

"Does this mean that you're free to see other people?" Tig teased her. "I don't have a girlfriend at the moment..."

Tara laughed. "Thanks for the offer but...you're not exactly my type."

He laughed. "True, you're not a Latino beauty either. You know how I love to rumba with the senoritas," he winked.

She knew that he was doing it only to cheer her up. It was sweet of him, which really surprised her. She could still remember how he had treated her when she had first begun seeing Jax.

Tara dug the bullet out of his shoulder, stitched and bandaged it up. She wondered how he had received the wound, but knew that it was none of her business. That was one of the first things she had learned from Gemma, not to ask questions unless you were prepared to deal with the consequences. Tara figured that this was one of those times. Since she had broken up with Jax, it was no business of hers anyways.

Tig raised himself from the table after she had finished. She put everything back into her medical bag. She threw her dirty medical gloves into the nearest garbage can. She walked out into the bar area. She noticed that Jax was playing pool.

Their eyes connected and locked. She quickly looked away. Clay came over and handed her a wad of money in an envelope. Cash _only_ so that there wasn't a trail; another thing she had learned. She made her way to the exit, trying to ignore Jax and the way he kept staring at her. She could feel his gaze as if he were trying to bore holes into her or see into her soul.

She felt self-conscious and afraid. Her heart raced. She wanted to get out of there as quickly and as painlessly as possible.

She noticed out of the corner of her eye, Ima (a porn star who had a crush on Jax) sidle up to him and hand him a beer. She smiled up at him covetously. Jax flirted back. Tara wasn't amused by the sight. She felt sharp pain in her heart. She quickly left; after saying one last goodbye to Clay and the boys.

She rushed out to her car, climbed in and raced off into the night. She was glad to escape before she started to cry.

What she didn't know was that Jax had pushed Ima away as soon as he noticed that Tara was out the door. He stood outside of the clubhouse and watched her leave with a sad expression on his face.

One day he would win her back, he vowed to himself. One day.

* * *

Tara returned to work after her suspension was lifted. The administrator called her into her office almost as soon as she had walked into the door. Tara didn't even have time to put her briefcase away.

"Dr. Knowles," she began, hesitantly, after they had both taken their seats. "I know that your suspension is over, but I wanted to go over a few things with you first, before you returned to work."

Tara nodded her head, understanding that the administrator had her own job to do.

The administrator paused. "Why did you fight someone on hospital property? Those actions are not what we want to see here. You are a doctor and we have an image that all doctors must live up to."

Tara sat there and let her talk. She knew that she was right, but she was glad that she would have this opportunity to speak her mind. She didn't regret fighting Wendy in the least.

"I want to hear your side of the story before I file the reports," the administrator continued. "I want to be sure of all the facts before we transfer you."

Tara blinked.

"Pardon me?" She asked, stunned and confused.

"The person who you fought on hospital grounds, has filed a formal complaint against you and this hospital. She is demanding your immediate dismissal or transfer to another hospital," she explained. "I feel that you're a good enough doctor that we shouldn't dismiss you because of one blemish on your record. That is why we've decided that we're going to transfer you."

Tara clenched her hands into fists. _That fucking bitch_, she thought to herself. Wendy was trying to ruin her life, like how she had ruined her hair. But this was to the extreme. Wendy was a vindictive bitch. Tara never thought that Wendy would stoop this low—to actually go after her career. Her job had nothing to do with Jax.

"I would like to hear your side of the story now Dr. Knowles." She waited for Tara to tell her side of the story. She sat there with an expectant expression on her face and her hands crossed on top of the desk.

"That _woman_..." She quivered in anger. "Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. You see, this has nothing to do with my work ethics or my job performance. This is something personal. The woman, her name is Wendy, is trying to keep me away from the father of her baby. She wants him for herself and hates the fact that he loves _me_ and not _her," _Tara explained.

"Mind if I ask you a question, doctor?"

"Go right ahead," she urged.

"Are you breaking up a family? Are you the other woman?"

"No," she shook her head. "Jax doesn't care about her. The baby was a mistake. Wendy is only using the baby to hold on to Jax."

"I see..." The administrator looked to be in deep thought. "And why would this woman go after your career? Why would she take part in a physical fight on hospital grounds?"

"Well, I did something awful to her," Tara tried to keep the smile off of her face. "We were at the hair salon and I changed the dye for her hair, that's why Wendy went after me. She wants me out of the way. And before you tell me that it was an awful thing to do...what would you do if someone said mean things about you all the time and admits that she's using a baby to hold on to what she wants? I had to do it. I'm not sorry about that at all. She has to learn that the world doesn't revolve around her."

"I see..."she looked like she was trying to think about what Tara had said. "Excuse me, but I thought I heard through the gossip mill here at the hospital-you know how fast gossip spreads around here-you broke up with him?"

"I...did, but that still doesn't change the fact that Wendy deserved what she got...maybe more. She's a drug addict, who endangered her baby because of her drug addiction. I think you should take her word with a grain of salt. She loves to lie and steal things that don't belong to her. She's a horrible person and I'm not surprised she would stoop this low. I'm sorry, but that's how I feel." Tara shrugged. She felt unrepentant.

"Thanks for telling me your side of the story," she replied, as she shuffled some paper on her desk. "I will still have to put your transfer through because she did mention the hospitals' name in the complaint. We don't want the hospital's name brought into this. I'm sorry," she apologized.

Tara knew that the administrator felt bad about it. She could tell by the look on her face. "I'm sorry too," she replied, with more regret than she had ever thought possible.

"I'll let you know when and where; as soon as we have everything arranged," she explained. She stood up and held out her hand towards Tara, who shook it. "You are a talented doctor, who we're going to miss tremendously."

Tara walked out of her office, full of anger at Wendy and disappointment at the whole situation. She wondered how everyone involved with SAMCRO would feel once they heard the news. They might hate her for leaving, just like many years ago, but this time-the difference was that it wasn't her decision-it was out of her control.

She wondered if she should tell Jax and Gemma face to face. It was a tough decision. One, she'd have to think about long and hard. If she didn't tell them, they'd resent her for it. If she did, they would be upset and she'd have to see Jax's reaction in person. It was a lose-lose situation. It didn't change the facts at all; either way she was leaving Charming for good.

* * *

Jax read Abel a book in his nursery. He couldn't stop thinking about Tara. He wished that he hadn't made her feel so uncomfortable while she had worked on taking the bullet out of Trig's shoulder.

He was always making mistakes where Tara was concerned. He just didn't know what to do anymore. Gemma had lots of advice, but he didn't take her suggestions or ideas because he didn't think that Tara would approve. He was on his own.

He heard the doorbell ring. Wendy had gone to the hairdressers' to finally get her hair dyed back to her normal color. He would miss the blue. It always made him smile because he liked the fact that Tara had done it. It proved to him that Tara was perfect for him. He admired her grit and her brains. She used both; making her a worthy contender for anybody who tried to mess with her. He was proud of her.

He answered the door with Abel in his arms. He was surprised to see Tara standing at the door. Tara smiled at Abel, then looked up at him. Her smile disappeared. He could see heartache and pain, which he had helped put there.

Jax just stared at her. He took in the jeans and the tank top that she wore. She looked good, he thought with a dull ache. He missed her something fierce. He wondered why she was there. Had she decided to take him back?

"Hey," he greeted her, unsure of what to say. He was lonely without her.

"Hi," she replied, sounding unsure if she was doing the right thing or not. She had done so much thinking in the past few days, since the hospital had told her that she was leaving, her brain hurt. "May I come in?"

"Sure," Jax backed away and allowed her to enter.

Abel started fussing. Jax tried to comfort him, awkwardly. Abel reached out for Tara to hold him. Tara's heart melted. She took him out of Jax's arms and started to sway from side to side, something that had often worked in the past at calming him. Sure enough, Abel settled down. He reached for the necklace around Tara's neck and pulled on it.

Jax smiled at Abel in her arms. He liked seeing how natural it was for Abel to be in Tara's arms. Abel knew Tara as his mother more than he knew Wendy.

"Would you like a drink or something?" He asked.

Tara shook her head, even though her mouth was dry and her throat was parched. She had planned on coming there and telling Jax about her transfer, but after seeing Abel, she wanted to put it off for as long as she could. She was scared of Jax's reaction. Seeing Abel, reminded her of how happy he was with fatherhood. And of how this would destroy him; how it would destroy both of them.

"No, thank you," she replied. "I...um," she tried to find the right words to speak. This was harder than she had ever thought it would be. But Jax should know that she was leaving Charming. He deserved to hear it coming from her and not someone else. He would hate her if she didn't.

"What?" Jax asked, curiously.

He ushered Tara into his living room. They sat down on the couch next to each other. Tara still held baby Abel in her arms.

"I wanted to tell you this face to face, but..." she couldn't get the words out. It was so hard. It reminded her of how much she had hurt him the first time around when she had run away many years ago.

"Are you coming back to me?" Jax wondered. "Because if you are...I love you and I promise that I won't push you away ever again. I'm sorry for being such an ass," he apologized, hoping that his words would do the trick.

They didn't. Tara looked sadder than ever. It made Jax brace to hear something he knew he wouldn't like.

"You're not coming back to me," he spoke up for her.

Tara shook her head. "No," she replied and cleared the clog out of her throat. She gazed at him, with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Jax. I'm leaving. I'm moving back to Chicago. They offered me a great position in pediatrics. They have one of the best departments in the country. I feel like I could learn a lot there."

It was partly true. It was a line she had thought of to convince herself that her move would be okay. She had hoped it would work with Jax too. She looked away, because she didn't want to see the hurt and sadness in Jax's eyes.

He remained silent. He got up and paced around the room. She knew that he wasn't happy and was barely managing to control his temper. She hated this.

"I wanted to tell you in person because you deserved to hear it from me and not someone else. I'm sorry, Jax. I really am. I hope that one day, you'll be able to forgive me."

She stood up and put Abel in his playpen in the corner of the living room. She walked to the front door to make a quick escape before Jax exploded. She knew he would. She didn't want to see it.

She was barely keeping control herself. She didn't want him to see the tears in her eyes or know the pain that was in her heart. But it had to be done. She had wanted to tell him herself and she couldn't use the excuse that it wasn't by choice. Jax wouldn't see it that way. It had been a hard choice to make to tell him, because she couldn't bear the thought of him hating her more than he would already.

She had her hand on the doorknob, the door ajar, when she heard Jax yell at her back. She could hear the venomous anger and pain in his voice.

"Running away from me once again, aren't you Tara," he snarled at her. "I should have known. You and I aren't made for each other after all. You aren't brave enough to fight for us. You have shown how selfish you are by desserting Abel and me, when both of us need you and love you. I _can't_ believe that I fell for you once again. I knew it was a bad move," he cried. "Gemma, Clay...they all warned me that you were bad for me and for the good of the club, but I didn't listen. I _refused_ to listen, because my heart was telling me something different. I guess they were right after all. Good bye, Tara and try not to let the door hit you on your ass on the way out."

He ended his tirade from across the room. Anger and pain in his handsome face. Tara could feel her tears begin to flow. She quietly let herself out of Jax's house and closed the door behind her. Not a moment flew by before she heard something crash and shatter after hitting the closed door.

She felt sad. She had said goodbye to the one person in the world who mattered the most to her.

She walked to her car, climbed in and backed out of Jax's driveway. She started crying before she had even left his driveway.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's Note: Thanks so much for all of your great comments! I really appreciate them and YOU for reading my story! FYI, if you subscribe to my blog (it's the link on my profile) you would have been able read this update over the weekend, because I posted it over there earlier than now. Hint, hint. Not that you HAVE to, but it's an option. I hope you like this chapter and don't worry, things will start to get better! ;) _

_Disclaimer: Characters are the property of the writers and producers of the TV series, Sons of Anarchy. I own nothing! _

_Rated: M (sexual content, some language and violence) _

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_**Chapter 7**

Jax went into a very dark place; more than he had ever been before Tara had told him she was leaving Charming for good. He hated her. He hated the fact she refused to fight for them. He hated to see her running away once again. He felt angry and bitter. The boys at the club had been on the receiving end of his anger and bitterness, more than once and grew more worried about him.

He could see it, but he couldn't do anything about it. He felt like he had no control and didn't care anymore. The only thing in his life that made any kind of sense, was when he held Abel in his arms. Abel would make him forget, but only briefly, because he could picture Tara holding him the last time he had seen her, when she had told him that she was leaving Charming and himself behind.

When would the pain stop? When would his anger subside?

Whenever he had done something for the club and it turned violent, he could feel himself losing control. Just like during sex-in every one of his enemies' faces-he could picture Tara's face. He wanted to bash their face in. He needed to take out his anger and frustrations on somebody. His enemies fit the bill perfectly.

Clay called the meeting to order, by hitting the gavel on the desk.

"The next order of business...we need to ship some guns to the Niners, but the Mayans have their spies watching. They know all of our meeting places. We have to come up with new places to meet," Clay told the room. "Any ideas?"

Some of the members voiced their opinions, but Jax didn't pay any attention. He had one thing on his mind. It was to go after the Mayans. "Why don't we raid them? Let's set up a distraction so that they have something else to worry about?" He suggested, as he looked around the room.

"And who do you suggest would do that?" Clay asked curiously.

"Me," Jax replied. "Me and Opie can set up something that the Mayans would be more concerned about, then what SAMCRO's doing. Simple."

Clay looked over at Opie. "Any objections, Ope?"

"I'm in," Opie agreed, as he gazed over at Jax with a confused and concerned expression. This wasn't like Jax. Usually he didn't like to be in the middle of a dangerous situation or at least always tried to think of less violent ways of doing things.

Jax looked over at Opie, hoping that he'd go along with his plan. Opie was the one person in the club he trusted the most. They had grown up together and he was his best friend.

"Okay," Clay nodded his head. "All in favor?" He paused, as everyone in the room raised their hands, one by one. "Any objections?" He waited for anyone to raise their hand, which there was none. He turned to Jax. "I hope you know what you're doing."

The meeting was adjourned. Jax headed outside and Opie followed along behind him. They each lit up a smoke as soon as they got out there. They stood near their bikes.

"What's up?" Opie asked, with concern.

Jax looked at him with a puzzled expression on his face. "What do you mean?"

"Why are you taking these kinds of risks lately? It's not like you," Opie clarified. "We all are getting worried. You can tell me. I won't say anything to the others," he explained, and hoped that Jax would confide in him.

Jax shrugged his shoulders. "There's nothing really to worry about. I'm fine. Let's go get those supplies and do our thing," he jumped on his bike, put his helmet on and drove away.

Opie followed, but at a slower pace.

They picked up what they needed, then drove to one of the properties that the Mayans owned. They set up the building to explode, creating a distraction that the Mayans couldn't ignore. They stood in nearby bushes from a safe distance. Opie pushed the button on the detonator. The building exploded in a fiery ball of flame. After Jax and Opie had made sure that the job was done effectively, they took off.

Jax drove to his home. Wendy was sitting on the couch, watching TV when he walked in.

"Where's Abel?" Jax asked curiously.

"Asleep," Wendy replied, with a grin on her face. She noticed Jax's clothes.

He had gotten a little dirty while they had planted the explosives.

"What have you been doing?" She wondered, as she noticed the dirt and grass stains on his clothes.

"Nothing." Jax didn't want to share anything with her. He was done sharing. The only person who he had taken the chance and shared with; was going to be leaving him soon.

Jax went into Abel's bedroom and stood over his crib. He watched him sleep for a few minutes, until Wendy came in.

"He looks so peaceful," Jax said quietly.

"Yes," she agreed. She moved next to him and put her hand on Jax's arm. "Even though we're both failures at life, we sure did something right when we made him."

Jax didn't want to be reminded. It brought back all of what had happened with Tara. He had definitely failed when it had come to her. He sighed.

"Yes," he agreed, because it was true. Abel was the best mistake that he'd ever made.

"Did you hear that Tara is leaving town?" she asked.

"Yes, she told me...I don't want to talk about her," Jax replied, not wanting to talk about it.

But Wendy did. "I know, but I want you to know that I'm glad she's out of your life. She deserved it."

Jax turned to look at her, with a confused expression on his face. "What do you mean by that?" He wondered. There was an expression on Wendy's face that made him very suspicious.

"Oh, she didn't tell you? I'm not surprised," she rolled her eyes. "I'm sure that she's ashamed by what happened. She's always been such an uppity bitch."

Jax reached out and grabbed her upper arms. "What the fuck are you talking about?" He asked her angrily.

"Ouch," Wendy winced from the strength in Jax's grip.

"What do you know about Tara leaving town?" Jax prodded.

Something didn't add up right with him. He needed to get to the bottom of it and Wendy seemed to know something. He couldn't trust Wendy at all, her actions in the past, proved that she was no better than he was.

"What aren't you telling me?"

Jax released her arms, hoping that by letting her go, she would tell him.

Wendy rubbed her arms where Jax had gripped her. She didn't want to tell him because she wanted him to hate Tara and not her, but she knew that Jax wouldn't stop asking her, until she relented.

"Well, remember my fight with Tara at the hospital? I filed a complaint against her for her abusive behavior. Imagine...a doctor fighting like how she did?" She shook her head in dismay. She tried to keep a gloating smile off her face.

A light bulb in Jax's mind suddenly turned on, as he realized what Wendy was telling him in that roundabout way of hers.

"_You...you_ are the reason why she's leaving Charming. What did you do? Why would you do something like that?"

"Why do you think?" She replied, looking at him. "I want to be your woman and she's in my way," she shrugged. "I knew that she wouldn't leave without some kind of incentive. She's so self-righteous, she couldn't be bought. I knew, if I filed a complaint to have her fired or transferred; it was the only way to really get rid of her."

Jax had never wanted to hit a woman as much as he did at that moment. He suddenly remembered how torn up Tara had been when she had told him. It made him sick to his stomach that Abel's mother would do something like this. He was so angry, he couldn't speak for a few minutes, until he calmed down a little bit.

"You are moving out of this house and you better be gone by the time I get back or I'm going to _remove_ you myself," he threatened. "Piece by piece, if I have to."

He left Abel's room and raced out the front door. Wendy chased after him, but he ignored her pleas.

"It's too late for you and her. Her flight leaves in an hour," she called out, trying to convince him to stay.

He gave her the middle finger, started up his bike and drove down the street, disappearing around the corner.

Wendy stood on the front step, and watched in stunned horror, as she realized that she had opened her big mouth. She had nobody to blame for Jax's reaction but herself. She went back inside and called the babysitter to come look after Abel.

If she couldn't have Jax, nobody would, she vowed to herself.

* * *

Tara look one last look around her house. She had put her car in the garage and covered it up with a sheet. She wouldn't be back for awhile, if ever. She was scheduled to appear at her new job on Monday, it was now Friday. She had hired some movers to pack up all of her belongings and bring them to Chicago. She only carried a small suitcase to take on the plane. She wanted to make sure that she didn't forget anything.

She had no intention of ever coming back because she knew it was completely over between Jax and herself. He hated her now. She had nothing else to come back for. She knew that she would miss her friends and some of the guys at the club, but what she felt wasn't near to how much she would miss Jax and Abel. She had accepted the fact that she would have a lonely existence. She felt sad she wouldn't be able to watch him grow up.

There was one place she had to visit on her way to the airport. The taxi parked and waited in front of Gemma's house. Tara walked up the front step and knocked on the door.

Gemma answered the door, pleasantly surprised to see her. "Tara," she greeted her cheerfully, with a warm hug. "Come on in."

Tara hadn't seen Gemma ever since she had told her that she hadn't appreciated the way she had planned to reunite Jax and herself. It was no use. It was all pointless, but she understood where Gemma was coming from and did want to say goodbye.

Tara sat down at the table. Gemma poured them both coffees and brought them to the table.

"I'm not sure why you're here, but I'm glad. Your eye is looking better. The swelling has gone down," she commented.

Tara squirmed in her seat. The black eye was an unpleasant reminder of why she was leaving. "Yes, well...this is hard for me, Gemma. You have _no_ idea how hard." Tara couldn't help it, she burst into tears.

Gemma moved her chair closer to her and tried to comfort her. "Oh, honey, what's wrong?"

Tara tried to gain control over her emotions. It took her a few minutes before she replied. "I'm leaving. I'm leaving you, Jax and Abel. I don't want to, but I_ have_ to." She started crying once again.

"Why would you say that?" She waited patiently for Tara to continue. "What's going on?"

"Because I'm getting transferred. There's a job opening in Chicago. It will be really good for my career. If I don't take it, I always will be wondering, _what if_? I think that this will be best for everyone involved." Tara spoke those words while crying. "I'm leaving today."

Gemma studied her for a few minutes. "You don't seem to be too thrilled about the transfer. Is that the reason why you have a cab outside waiting?"

She nodded her head.

"You don't sound very convincing. If you're looking forward to this position as much as you say you were, you don't seem very happy about it," she observed.

Tara knew that Gemma was a good friend. She couldn't lie to her. She had to tell her the truth. She owed her that much for showing her the ropes about loving someone in the club.

"That's because I'm _not_ happy, Gemma. There's more, but I didn't tell Jax this," she confessed and looked away. "I don't want him to know. Promise me you won't tell him."

"What?"

"After my fight with Wendy-she filed a complaint against me and the hospital. It was either I get fired or transferred or the hospital gets sued. I have no choice in the matter. They offered me a position at my old hospital. But I want _you_ to know it's not my choice to go. I figure after all we've been through, I could trust you with this. Please don't tell Jax,"she pleaded.

Gemma digested what she had told her. _Wendy, that fucking bitch._ She should have done something to her before this happened to Tara.

"I'm glad you told me, sweetie. That bitch doesn't deserve to get away with this." Her eyes squinted, as she thought of how to repay Wendy herself.

"Gemma, please don't do anything to her, I beg you." Tara just wanted everything to be over and done with so she could move on with her life. If Gemma did anything stupid, like go after Wendy, she would feel guilty about it.

"Oh? So, you agree with what she's done? She has purposely removed you from Jax's life, from Abel's and from mine. She doesn't care about anybody but herself and I won't allow it," Gemma stubbornly refused.

"Trust me, she won't get away with this." Gemma leaned over and kissed Tara on the forehead. "I hate to see you go," her eyes filled up with tears.

"I don't want to go either," she hugged Gemma back, already knowing how much she was going to miss her. "But we'll write to each other and we have each others' cell numbers. We can always keep in touch." She tried to reassure her.

Tara looked at her watch. She had to leave. She stood up and prepared to go. Gemma watched her with tears in her eyes. Tara knew she was going to cry at any moment.

"And don't shed a tear for me. I'm fine with this, I really am. I'm just going to miss you and everyone," Tara hugged her and Gemma hugged her back.

"For what it's worth. I'm happy I was raped because it gave me _you_. You're like the daughter I never had."

"I feel the same way too," Tara spoke into her shoulder. She brushed the tears from her face and backed out of Gemma's embrace. "Goodbye, Gemma."

"Bye."

Gemma watched from the front door, as Tara climbed into the taxi and drove away. She burst out crying as soon as Tara's taxi had disappeared from sight.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: Sorry, it's been so long since I've updated! I've been extremely busy lately and haven't had much time to write and edit my fics. Hope you can forgive me for neglecting this story for so long...but rest assured, I haven't forgotten about it and I do plan on finishing Dirty Little Secret! Thank you so much for reading and for all of your comments, I really appreciate them! I'm glad you're enjoying this fic!  
_

_Disclaimer: Characters are the property of Kurt Sutter. I own nothing!_

_Rated: M (language, sexual content and some violence) _

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**Chapter 8**

Tara arrived at the airport, checked in her suitcase, and sat down in one of the seats in the waiting area. She had about an hour to kill before she went through security and her flight would board.

The Charming airport wasn't a big one, but it had six gates for the many commuter flights that traveled to and from Los Angeles and San Francisco.

She purchased herself a coffee and a magazine from one of the stores in the airport. She sat down and leafed through the magazine. It was one of those Hollywood tabloid ones; which contained a bunch of dribble that was more fiction than fact. Only one headline appealed to her, so she spent a few moments reading about an amazing healer who saved people. Some called them miracles, while others called the person a cult leader.

Other passengers took their seats in the waiting area. She glanced up at them, as more and more people arrived. It was a busy airport for being in a small town like Charming, she thought.

At times, she would look over at the entrance, hoping and praying, someone (like maybe Jax?) would appear to say goodbye. It was wishful thinking she knew. She hated the thought of him hating her. She wished things had ended under better circumstances. It was only by sheer will, that she wasn't in tears, but she had her Kleenex handy - as if waiting for her self-control to burst at any moment.

Those thoughts reminded her of the little baby Abel, she was leaving behind. She felt sad that she would never get to see his first steps, hear his first words or see him grow up. Would he join the club, like his father?

She sipped her coffee and wondered what she would have done differently, if anything? She didn't regret falling in love with Jax. She didn't regret being Abel's mother while Wendy was in rehab. She didn't regret dying Wendy's hair blue because she, quite frankly, deserved it.

Could she have avoided what was happening to her now? She didn't have a clue. She wished she knew how to get out of this situation, but the hospital had made it plain. They didn't want to get sued and figured if they got rid of one of their more talented doctors, they would be better off. She felt like her dedication and all of her hard work wasn't appreciated. It made her feel even more depressed.

She sat there and mulled over things while waiting to hear the call over the PA system, which would announce when it was time to go through security.

* * *

Jax raced over to Tara's house and hoped to catch her before she left for the airport. When he pulled up her driveway on his bike, he noticed it was dark inside. Either her power was out or he had missed her. He had a funny feeling that it was the latter.

_Fuck! Now, what the fuck was he going to do? Had she driven to the airport already? _

He noticed her car inside the garage. It had a cover over top of it. She probably took a taxi, he figured.

He cranked the handle on his bike; made his engine roar. He pulled out of Tara's driveway to head over to his mom's house. He knew the two of them were close, maybe Tara was still there? Tara was the type of person who would say goodbye to Gemma before leaving Charming - no matter what kind of circumstances she was in.

When he pulled into the driveway at Gemma's house, he noticed the lights were all on. Someone was home at least. He climbed off his bike and took his helmet off. He walked through the front door, not bothering to knock.

Gemma came out of the kitchen, wondering who had entered her house without bothering to ring the doorbell or knock. She had been busy drinking and plotting her revenge against Wendy. When she noticed that it was only Jax, she rushed over to him in tears.

"She's gone," she cried. "You just missed her."

Jax wasn't happy to hear that particular news. "Did she tell you what happened? Why she's leaving?"

"Yes," she nodded her head. "There's more...but I don't have time to get into details. I think if you hurry, you might be able to catch her before her plane leaves."

She urged him towards the door. She used her mothers' intuition and had a funny feeling that Jax already knew about Wendy's involvement in all of this. "You know about Wendy," she commented, as she watched him closely.

Jax nodded his head. "Yes, I know," he agreed. "Wendy told me. I _can't_ believe she would do this to _Tara_, of all people. I've gotta stop her, Mom, maybe I can reach her in time."

With that, he walked out the door and towards his bike. Gemma watched from the doorway.

"I hope you get there before her plane leaves," she called out.

"Me too," he replied. He hoped he did. He knew that he would have to break speed records in order to get to the airport on time. "Oh, and one more favor. Can you go over to my house and pick up Abel? I don't want that _bitch_ anywhere near Abel right now. I wouldn't put anything past her. She might kidnap him or something."

"Sure thing, sweetheart," she agreed, hoping to reassure him.

"Wish me luck," he waved, then slipped his helmet on and took off.

He pushed his bike to the limit. He didn't remember ever driving this fast before. It was a good thing he had a good engine in it and knew what he was doing, he thought to himself. He sped down the road, towards the airport on the edge of town.

He was almost there - he could see it off in the distance - when he heard a siren blare behind him. Great, he groaned, this was the_ last_ thing he needed. To get pulled over by the cops, when time was of the greatest essence.

He pulled his bike over, hoping that by doing the right thing (for once) he would get to the airport faster. If he kept driving, the cops would only chase after him, then he would get his ass hauled off to jail. He would miss Tara's plane for sure if that happened.

He sat on the bike and waited impatiently for the cop to climb out of his car and walk over to where he was waiting.

It was Hale. At least he was someone who would let him go, if he explained the situation to him, Jax thought. Hale had always been a compassionate man and a good friend of Tara's.

"Hey, Jax," Hale greeted him, taking out his pad of tickets. "Kind of driving dangerously, aren't you?"

"Look...I know I was speeding, but can you just write the ticket and we can be on our merry way?" He asked, cutting to the chase. He didn't have time for small-talk.

Hale studied him. "In a hurry?" he asked, suspiciously. "I hope it has nothing to do with anything illegal. You wouldn't happen to know anything about an explosion recently, do you?"

"Nope, don't know anything and I don't have time for your questions and answers right now," Jax replied. "You see, Tara is leaving town and I'm trying to catch her plane before it takes off. We didn't get to say goodbye properly," he explained. "I'm sure you can let me go, just this one time." He tried using whatever charm he could come up with under the circumstances.

Hale thought about it for a few minutes. Time that Jax didn't have. Jax looked down at his watch, checking to see how much time was being wasted by all of this. This was taking much too long...

"Honestly, there's nothing going on that's illegal, other than my speeding. I swear on my mother," Jax tried to convince him further.

He wasn't sure if he was making any headway. Hale seemed to be lost in thought.

After a few moments, Hale started filling out the ticket and handed it to Jax. "Here, next time don't be in such a rush. It's dangerous for you and other drivers to be driving so fast."

"Okay."

Hale started to walk back towards his jeep, then turned towards him. "Oh and say goodbye to Tara for me. I'm going to miss her. Tell her to come back and visit us often."

With that, he climbed back into his jeep, pulled a U-turn and drove back towards Charming.

"Tara's not going to leave if I can help it," Jax vowed to himself, once he was alone.

Jax started up his bike and took off. He resumed the same speed he'd been driving before. He didn't care. He needed to get to the airport on time and Hale had wasted too many precious minutes already.

He pulled into the parking lot and parked his bike in the taxi stand, among the waiting taxis. He earned a couple of glares and curses from the drivers, for taking one of their reserved spots, but he didn't give a shit.

The only thing that mattered, was getting to Tara before her plane took off.

It was a zoo inside. He had to look over the flight schedule, which was posted on TV screens to find the right flight that was leaving for Chicago and which gate they were leaving from. There were two flights. He didn't know which one to choose. He didn't see Tara waiting in the waiting area, so she must have gone through security already.

He decided his best best was to go through security too. He emptied his pockets, with his pocket knives and guns, which made the guards eye him even more suspiciously than they had before. But he didn't care, it's not like he was planning on holding someone as hostage, unless they created trouble for him by not allowing him through. He had his permits and papers, which he always carried on him. He knew they were only doing their job and being a biker wasn't the most respected position in the world.

The security screen bleeped the first time he walked through. He had to take off his rings and metal jewelry. This was wasting time that he didn't have. He started to grow angry and impatient.

After Jax had succeeded in making it bleep a few more times, the guard pointed him towards a room off to the side. Jax groaned. This was the _last_ thing he needed.

The security guards told him to strip down and while they conducted their strip and cavity search. It reminded him of when he'd been in jail. Cavity and strip searches weren't the greatest thing to have to go through, but he took it all in stride. He would suffer through anything in order to get to Tara in time.

After finding nothing, the guards finally told him to get dressed and he was allowed through. He headed over to the gate that was closest to him, as fast as his feet could run.

He ran up the stairs, instead of using the escalator. It was faster that way. He kept bumping into people in his haste. He came up to the gate, disappointed to find out they were already standing in line and boarding. He looked around anxiously for Tara, hoping to see her standing there.

Was she there? Where was she?

Every brunette haired woman he noticed; he approached, expecting it to be her. The women would turn to look at him with strange, startled expressions on their faces. He would apologize to them, then move on to the next one and on down the line, until he had reached the ticket agent who checked the passenger's ID's.

"Excuse me," Jax interrupted, while the ticket agent was dealing with someone who was having their ID checked. "But could you tell me if a Tara Knowles has already boarded?"

The ticket agent looked at him with a great deal of confusion. She frowned.

"I'm not sure," she replied, after handing the passenger's ID back to them and wishing them a good trip. "What does she look like?" She asked.

"About this high. Brunette. Green eyes," Jax described Tara to the agent, using hand motions.

The agent frowned once again.

"That's not ringing any bells," she commented, then turned her attention back on the boarding passengers.

She would smile and greet them in a friendly manner, which only made him more impatient.

"Well, would you please let me know if you _do_ see her?" He asked. "It's _very_ important that I find her before her plane leaves," he urged.

"I'll see what I can do, Mr..." She focused her attention back on him. "What's your name and I'll page you when or if I _do_ happen to see her? You know she could be on the other flight, right?"

"My name is Jax. Jax Teller. I can't tell you how important this is to me, thanks. And yes, I know about the other flight. I'm going to check that one out now. I just hoped that maybe...she was on this one." He ran his hand through his hair, anxiously.

He tried to think of what else he could do. He _had_ to delay her flight, if at all possible. Was there any way he could make it to her in time?

He headed towards the other gate. It appeared to be boarding too. He groaned. He repeated the same technique as at the previous gate, by approaching every dark-haired woman.

Tara was standing in the long line of other passengers, waiting patiently to board the plane. She felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She turned around.

Jax was feeling more and more anxious. He felt like he was losing Tara for good. He started to take it out on the people waiting in line, who were staring at him both strangely and fearful of him. He knew bikers tended to scare some people, based on prejudices. But they weren't all wrong either. They had a right to fear him, especially in the state that he was in at this minute.

Tara turned towards the person who had tapped her on the shoulder. It was a little old lady.

"Excuse me, dearie," the woman asked. "Would you mind if I went ahead of you? I might need some help getting to my seat. My arthritis is acting up today," she complained.

Tara switched places with her, since she had always been a caring person. This started a lengthy discussion between the two of them while they waited. The little old woman was going to Chicago to visit her grandson, who's wife had recently given birth to her great-grandchild.

The woman had told her that she was ninety-four years old. Tara couldn't imagine living that long.

Tara felt someone tap her on the shoulder once again. Was that going to be the way of things? She wondered. How many people would want to butt in line ahead of her, until she was at the back of the line and missed the flight? She thought to herself, sarcastically.

She turned around, prepared to say, no to whomever was trying to get her attention.

She gasped, as she noticed that it was Jax.

"Tara?" He asked, as if he couldn't believe that he had finally found her.

"Jax?" She replied, shocked to see that he was standing right before her.

Had he forgiven her? Had he found out about Wendy? Why was he here? She wondered. She felt her heart flutter in her chest. She was elated and happy, even though she wasn't sure of why he was there.

"Thank God," he cried.

He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her close to him. He gave her a passionate kiss and hug, as if he was very relieved to find her.

"Jax, what are you doing here?" Tara asked, trying to keep the hope from sounding in her voice. She was stunned and confused.

He didn't appear to be angry with her anymore. He appeared anxious and scared. Was he scared because he didn't want to say goodbye? She hoped that was the case.

"Wendy told me everything," he said into her hair. "_Everything_. I know that you're not truly running away and that you're being forced to leave, because of _her_. I want you to know that I won't let that happen. Not to you. Never."

"Jax, what are you talking about?" Tara wondered. "It's already done. It was either me or the hospital. They made their choice. I _have_ to leave."

"I know, but you don't _really_ have to go. You can get a job in a clinic or something. There's other options available to you. Besides, Abel needs you. _I_ need you. Would you really dessert us in our time of need?" He asked, hopefully.

"What about Wendy?" Tara asked, refusing to get her hopes up. "If she finds out that I'm still here, she will make us pay. I can't let her do that to you or to Abel."

"You let me worry about Wendy," he tried to reassure her. "She made a huge mistake when she filed the complaint against you. A _huge_ mistake. I have a feeling that she's going to regret it for a very long time."

Tara could tell that Jax had violent and painful plans going through his mind.

"Don't," she begged. "She's not worth it."

"You're right," Jax agreed. "But I assure you that she will get what's coming to her and you won't regret staying here in Charming, I promise. I will take care of you. I will protect you. Can you trust me? I know that I have to earn back your trust, and I plan to, until we're back to where we were once before."

Now it was Jax's turn to sound hopeful. He prayed that she would agree to stay. Maybe she needed something to really bind her to him? It had always been in the back of his mind to propose eventually. The timing seemed to right.

He got down on one knee. He looked up at her with a pleading look on his handsome face. He took her hand in his.

"Tara, will you stay and agree to be my wife? I love you. I really, really love you. Please say, yes," he pleaded, with tears in his eyes. "I promise to love you until the day I die. I promise you will never regret this decision. I promise I will always keep you safe. I'm asking for Abel too. Will you agree to stay and be his mom?"

Tara gasped and as she was about to answer - with tears in her eyes - but then she was sadly interrupted.

"_I'm_ his mom and I'll be damned if I let _you_ replace me," Wendy spoke up from behind them.

They both turned towards Wendy, surprised to see her standing there and holding a gun. It was aimed at both of them.

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: I'm terribly sorry for the extremely long delay in updating...I tried to get this updated sooner, but things have been hectic for me lately. I hope you're still interested in reading this story! No, I have NOT given up or have writers' block! I just don't have very much time to devote to my fics as much as I used to. Thank you very much for all of your great and constructive feedback and your tireless patience! I really appreciate it! I promise, I'll try my best, not to be as neglectful as I have been the last few months!

I'd like to personally thank Northwoman for agreeing to be my Beta for my SoA fics! She's been a tremendous help to me, and my second set of eyes!

After a very long absence and negligence...here's the next Chapter of **Dirty Little Secret**! I hope you enjoy it! Please tell me what you think!

Disclaimer: Characters are the property of the producers and writers of the TV show, Sons of Anarchy. I own nothing! For entertainment purposes only!

Rated: M (language and violence)

_

* * *

_**Chapter 9**

Before either Jax or Tara could reply or move, the airport security swarmed around Wendy, with their guns raised and trained on her.

"Miss, put down your gun," one of the guards told her.

"No, I _will_ finish this," she vowed. She turned back to Jax and Tara, glaring at them angrily.

Jax moved in front of Tara, effectively shielding her from Wendy's sight. He would much sooner die, trying to protect her, than any other alternative.

"How in the _fuck_ - did you get past security?" he wondered. Since he had gone through a thorough cavity search by those same people (where they had confiscated and refused to give back his weapons, before allowing him through), he found it hard to believe Wendy had gone through and now held a gun aimed at his head.

"I butted in line and proceeded to walk through," Wendy shrugged, as if it was no big deal.

"What she failed to mention - was she ignored our shouts and warnings," one of the security guards added. "She didn't wait in line. She walked through, as if she owned the place."

It made a lot of sense, but he was surprised Wendy had the balls to do something like that. He turned his attention back on Wendy.

"Think of all the witnesses...you wouldn't want Abel to be without his father, would you?" He tried to reason with her.

"No, but I don't want _Tara_ to be his mother, either," Wendy explained and pointed to her chest. "When I _am_," she added.

"Of course you are, Wendy. I'm not trying to change any of that. I just want to be married to Tara. I want to share my life with her. Is that too much to ask?"

"Yes, it's _supposed_ to be _me, _for fuck's sakes! Not her. _Never_ her," Wendy cried. She wiped at the tears in her eyes, while she held the gun in a shaky, quivering manner. "You and me and Abel are the ones who are meant to be a family. Tara is supposed to leave town and leave us alone."

"Wendy," Jax sighed.

"No!" Wendy interrupted. "I don't want to hear any of your lame-ass excuses. I don't want to hear anything come out of your _fucking_ mouth! You got that?" she yelled.

He felt like he was to blame for some of this. Had he led Wendy on somehow? He couldn't remember, but he had never felt anything other than friendship for her. There had been a few times in the past when they'd had sex, but it had mostly been before Tara had returned to town. And only one time after and it had not only been a mistake, but it hadn't meant anything, at least to him.

The words coming out of Wendy's mouth shocked and scared him. How were they going to calm her down? How were they going to get themselves out of this?

"Wendy, listen," Tara pleaded. "You don't want to kill the father of Abel, do you? Who's going to raise him? After this, you'll probably be going away to jail for a long time. You don't want Abel to end up in foster care, do you?"

"I don't want to hear a peep out of _your_ fuckin' mouth, bitch," Wendy replied, then pointed the gun right at Jax. "No, I think this is the only solution. If I can't have him – _no one_ will." She vowed.

She must have realized what she was saying because she suddenly changed tactics and continued, "is _this_ what you wanted? Did you want me to shoot you instead?" she cried, trying to sound like it was her only option.

Anyone could hear the pitiful heartbreak in her voice.

Tara gasped.

Something puzzled him. Something didn't seem quite right. Jax wanted to find out what it was.

"Wendy...just _what_ did you think would happen with this insane plan of yours? Did you think that I would leave Tara, while you held me at gunpoint?" He shook his head, proving the answer. "What then?" he continued. "I would _resent_ you for it. _Always_."

Tara watched, in stunned horror, at the scene playing out before her. It was like one of her worst fears and a climatic ending to some movie she was watching onscreen.

She needed to save Jax somehow. She could tell Wendy wouldn't listen to anything anybody said at this point.

The people around them were more interested in watching what was happening, than boarding the plane. In fact, the ticket agent was standing there watching, just as interested as the rest of the crowd. One of the pilots came out, wondering why nobody was boarding the plane. He too, was now watching just as intently. Nothing like this had ever happened in Charming before.

They had a captive audience, no matter how much they wished it were otherwise.

The police arrived. Hale and a couple of deputies appeared at the top of the stairs. He pulled his gun out and trained it on Wendy.

He briefly turned towards Jax. "I thought you promised me that you weren't going to get into trouble?" He asked, out of the side of his mouth.

"Hey, I'm the victim here," Jax replied, offended and just as stunned as everyone else.

Tara looked at both of them with confusion. She looked up at Jax, who looked down at her.

He could read the questions in her eyes.

"Later. I'll explain about it later...if we get out of this, that is," he told her. He shifted his attention back to Wendy and the matter at hand. "Wendy, we promise that you can have visitation rights," he tried to placate her.

"Nope, I want _custody_," Wendy replied. She waved the gun from Jax to Tara and back again. "I'm not going to let the two of you raise my son to hate me."

"We won't," Tara vowed. "If you lower your gun now, I'm sure the police will go easy on you. You may get out sooner. Isn't that right, Hale?" She asked, hoping that Hale would go along with it.

"I will..?" He replied, then read the communicative expressions on Jax and Tara's faces. "Oh yes, we'll make sure that things will be easier on you, if you cooperate. Lower your weapon. Please Wendy, before someone gets hurt."

"No!" Wendy shouted at him, her frustrations bursting forth. "No, I will _not_. If I can't have him...nobody will!" She turned her gun back on Jax and pulled the trigger.

As if it were happening in slow motion, Tara saw what was about to happen. In a panic, she did the only thing she could do. She jumped in front of Jax, taking the bullet that was meant for him.

She felt a sharp, searing pain in her chest, as she fell to the ground. The sounds all around her became muffled. Everything moved in slow motion. She watched, as the security and police officers tackled Wendy to the ground and handcuffed her.

Jax knelt down next to her and held her hand in one of his. The other hand, was trying to stop (what she assumed) was her blood from flowing. He shouted to people around him to give him something to stop the bleeding. He said reassuring words to her, but she couldn't hear him.

She felt dizzy and light-headed. The pain was excruciating. There was a roaring sound in her ears. Was she going into shock? She felt cold all of a sudden.

Jax tried to stop the bleeding as best as he could. He was more scared than he had ever been before. Tara didn't seem to be responding to any of his questions and encouraging words, even though she seemed to be awake. She wasn't unconscious...yet.

Hale came over to where Jax was kneeling next to Tara, after requesting an ambulance to come to the airport.

He had instructed his deputies to arrest Wendy and take her into police headquarters. He would let her sit and wait until he was sure that Tara's needs were looked after first.

"How is she doing?" He asked Jax.

"How do you think she's doing?" he glared, angrily at him. "She took a bullet meant for me!" Jax shouted.

Hale was used to dealing with people in situations like these. He knew that Jax was only acting out in the only way he knew how at the moment. He was in shock and horrified by the results.

"I called the ambulance. They'll be here shortly. Would you like me to call Clay and Gemma?" He offered, knowing how much family meant to Jax.

Jax nodded his head, his attention focused back on Tara and her condition.

Hale called them at the clubhouse. He knew the whole club would be at the hospital before the ambulance arrived. It was one of the things he envied about the club. Even though they weren't blood related, they were family. If any of their members or their loved ones were hurt, they all came rushing in to help in times of need.

Jax began talking to Tara again. "Hale told me that the ambulance is on its way. Gemma and Clay are going to be there when we arrive. Everything's going to be okay. I know it is," he rocked back and forth on his heels, holding Tara's hand.

Tara felt reassured, after hearing what she could hear of Jax's words. All she heard was something about an ambulance coming and something about Gemma and Clay. The rest was; blah, blah, blah, to her.

She tried focusing on Jax's face to keep her mind off her pain. She was incredibly relieved that Jax was alive and he wasn't hurt at all. She must have saved him by jumping in front of him at the last minute. She wanted to tell him, 'yes, she would marry him', but the pain was too much for her. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him too, if only she could speak.

Jax moved away from her, as people she knew came and knelt down next to her. She vaguely recalled that they were local EMT's, who she often saw at the hospital. She wanted to greet them, and ask how they were, but they were too busy working for idle chit-chat. Besides, she was in too much pain to carry on a conversation.

One of them put an oxygen mask over her. The other was taking her blood pressure. She wanted to ask them what her condition was, but couldn't get the words out of her mouth because of the mask.

They slid her on to a stretcher, they had brought inside with them. She made a mental note to tell them when she was better, that it should be softer. The mattress was hard on her back. They strapped her in, then carried her down the stairs and out of the airport.

She guessed Jax had his wish after all. She wasn't leaving Charming tonight. She was going back to the hospital, but she was kind of relieved that she wouldn't be on call.

They pushed the stretcher in, with one of the EMT's following behind, closing the doors behind him. He began going to work, attaching tubes and equipment to her.

If she were feeling better, she could have rattled off what each piece of equipment was supposed to do and which body part it was for, but the pain was still too much to be able to think about anything else.

Dave, as she finally remembered his name, the EMT in the back with her, asked if she were allergic to anything. She shook her head. He asked her a bunch of other questions too. She knew it was the information they provided to the doctors and nurses at the hospital to be used to help make her better. It was very necessary in some cases.

Jax had slipped into the back of the ambulance too. He held her hand. She was surprised to see him there, hovering around her, not letting her go. Where was Abel?

As if reading her mind, he leaned over. "I told Gemma to look after Abel until you returned home with me. I'm not leaving your side until you're well again," he winked at her.

She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, but her mouth still had the mask over top of it. She was glad he was coming with her to the hospital. She was scared. While she had always tried to reassure her patients of the procedures she would be doing on them, it was different, if you were the actual patient. Now, she completely understood what scared them. She felt it too.

The ambulance took off towards the hospital, with its lights and sirens blaring. They arrived at the hospital in no time flat. Tara was rushed into exam room one as soon as she arrived. She saw the passing hallway lights, while she lay on the stretcher. They were hard on the eyes. She could see Jax staring down anxiously at her, while they moved down the hall.

When they entered the exam room, Jax was forced to stay behind. Tara tried to maintain eye-contact with him, as long as she could, before they closed the doors.

People she knew so well, who knew what they were doing, worked on her. They checked her vitals and administered first aid, and prepared her for surgery. The bullet (as one of her colleagues explained) was lodged in her chest, narrowly missing a major artery, but it hadn't hit one of her major organs. But it would need surgery to come out.

She was all for that - anything to get rid of this kind of pain. She couldn't sit up or move. It hurt to breathe.

They moved her upstairs, where the operating rooms were. She knew what they were going to do next, apply anaesthesia to her.

She wasn't sure where Jax was. She hoped he was around the hospital somewhere and hadn't deserted her. _Had he really proposed to her?_ It seemed like a distant memory now.

They pushed her into a room and she kind of smiled at the anaesthetist technician. She knew him well. He always had great jokes. He placed a mask on her face and before she knew it, she was out.

* * *

Jax anxiously paced in the waiting room, across the room. Gemma and Clay, along with the rest of the members of the club arrived. They all had hopeful, comforting words to share, which he appreciated, but they were just words. The only thing which would relieve his mind, would be Tara walking into the room.

He was sick with worry over her. Gemma carried Abel in her arms and handed him over. Jax breathed in his scent, grateful that he had Abel, safe and sound. He just needed Tara to pull through surgery and his life would be complete.

"Your mother is going to be okay," he spoke softly to his son. "She will pull out of this, she has to."

He said those words, as much to reassure himself, as to reassure his son. He knew Abel understood that something was seriously wrong. He started to cry and Jax had to rock him.

"You're right, honey," Gemma reached out to comfort both of her boys. "She will. Tara's tough. She won't let a little thing like a bullet take her down." She paused, wondering if this was the right time to ask some more questions. "Is it true that Wendy was the one who shot her?"

"Yes," he replied. "But she wasn't aiming for Tara - she was aiming for me. Tara saved my life, Mom," he explained, more grateful, than he could ever put into words.

When Tara made it out of surgery, he vowed, he would try to make it up to her as long as he lived. How could you ever repay someone for sacrificing herself like that?

"I can't believe Wendy," Gemma complained, shaking her head. "To hold you at gunpoint in an airport..." She continued to shake her head. "I guess you never know what some people will do."

"No, you can't," he agreed. "Look, you guys don't have to stay here. I'm okay, now that Abel is here. We'll be fine." He tried getting Gemma, Clay and the club to leave. "I'll let you know everything once Tara's out of surgery."

"I will _not_ leave you alone at a time like this," Gemma refused. "I care about Tara too," she explained, stubbornly. She proceeded to sit down in one of the chairs in the waiting room and crossed her arms across her chest.

Jax and Clay exchanged a look. They both knew how stubborn Gemma could be. It was better for all of them if they let her be.

"Okay, if you insist," Jax agreed, reluctantly.

He sat down next to her and shifted Abel in his arms. Abel was starting to fall asleep.

* * *

Time moved by slowly, until the administrator herself came into the waiting area. Jax stood up with Abel in his arms.

"Well?" He asked, hopefully. "How is she?"

The administrator looked up at him, with a serious expression on her face. The look in her eyes didn't look very encouraging.

Jax could hear his heart pound in his chest. He grew scared. _Tara was still alive, wasn't she?_

Suddenly, the administrator smiled. "Dr. Knowles is fine. She needs some rest, but we got the bullet out without any complications," she explained. "She's in ICU. Would you like to see her now?"

Jax nodded his head, as grateful tears sprang to his eyes. Gemma had stood next to him, while the administrator had given them the good news. He handed Abel to her, so he could visit Tara. He followed the administrator into the ICU.

"You need to put this on."

The administrator handed him a set of scrubs and a face mask, which he put on. He had been through all of it before with Abel. Once he was ready, he followed the administrator into the glassed-enclosed section where Tara was.

Oh God, she looked so small and dainty laying there in bed. She looked very weak and pale. He was afraid to approach her.

"Go on," the administrator urged. "I'm sure she'd love to hear your voice," she encouraged.

"Do you think she will hear me?" He asked hopefully.

"Of course, she will," she replied, knowingly. She left the room, giving them some privacy.

Jax didn't know how she could be so sure about it, but he was game. He pulled up a chair next to the bed, where Tara lay, sleeping. She had so much equipment and tubes attached to her body...she looked like she was as wired up as a sound system. It broke his heart seeing her in this state.

_This_ was the reason why he had always been fearful of giving his heart away. His position and status in the club was a dangerous one. He hated it that _he_ was the reason why she had taken a bullet meant for him, if only he hadn't hooked up with Wendy in the first place...

"Hey," he spoke softly to her. He took one of her hands in his. "You're going to be okay, you hear me, Tara? They got the bullet out and tell me it's a good prognosis. I want you to know I'm here. I'm never leaving. I'm sorry Wendy did this to you. It's all my fault..." he got choked up at the pain and guilt he felt.

"I didn't know she had it in her to try to shoot one of us. But I promise you I will do everything I can to protect you in the future."

He paused, as he listened to the bleeps and sounds of the equipment running.

"Abel is here. He misses you. Gemma, Clay, the rest of the guys are here too. We're all pulling for you to make it out of this alive."

* * *

Tara was in a place with a brilliant bright light. She was in a field, with wildflowers and a breeze blowing through her hair. She felt drawn to the light, but Jax's voice drew her away. She could hear him from a distance, but it was steadily getting louder.

She somehow knew that he was at her side. She needed to get back to him to tell him how much she loved him. She walked towards the sound, his voice getting clearer and clearer.

Finally, the light dimmed, but didn't disappear. She slowly opened her eyes. She was laying in a hospital bed in the ICU. She knew the room well. She had often looked in on her patients in this room. Her vision was blurry, but started to focus, until she could make out the handsome features of Jax's face.

His face was the only face she could see. He had tears in his eyes and was holding her hand. She wanted to talk to him, but her lips and throat were dry.

"Tara?" He asked, incredulously. "Can you hear me?"

Jax suddenly realized Tara was awake. Her eyes were open and she was gazing at him with love in her eyes. He hadn't lost her. He was happy and relieved.

"Would you like me to get you anything?" He offered. He would give her everything she could ever wish for, if she let him.

The doctors had told him to call them as soon as she woke up. He pushed the call button on the bed, notifying the doctors to come check her out. The doctors arrived, taking Jax's place, next to the bed.

Jax didn't want to get in the way, so he leaned over and kissed Tara on her forehead.

"I'm going to leave, to let the docs do what they're paid to do," he explained, tenderly. "I'll be back later."

Tara nodded her head, in understanding, and watched Jax leave the room.

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

****_Author's note: First of all, my apologies for taking so long to update this story. :( I have been extremely busy, with not very much time to devote to writing. Hope you're still interested in this fic! Secondly, thank you to all of you who have contacted me about it. It really means a lot to me, that you would go out of your way to contact me! You've waited long enough...hope you enjoy this chapter! Reviews are more than welcome!  
_

_Disclaimer: characters are the property of the creators of Sons of Anarchy. Borrowed for entertainment purposes only. _

_Rated M: course language_

* * *

**Chapter 10**

While the doctors checked Tara over, Jax walked back to the waiting room to tell the others Tara was awake and recovering. They were jovial, happy and gave each other high-fives and pats on the backs.

Jax couldn't stop smiling at their reactions. He was happy the club and his family were happy, but a part of his mind wasn't there. It was focused on Tara recovering in the ICU.

Gemma noticed how Jax was trying to appear to be involved with everyone's celebrations, but he wasn't. She knew only too well, how he was feeling, since she remembered how his father had been rushed to the hospital after the motorcycle accident that ended up taking his life. She came over to comfort him. Abel was in her arms.

"How is she doing?" she asked. "What did the doctors say?"

"She's as good as can be expected, I guess. She woke up and they're examining her now," Jax answered. He was excited and anxious. All he wanted to do was return to Tara's bedside.

"Hale came by..." Gemma swayed with Abel in her arms. "He mentioned something to me...about what happened at the airport...is it true?" She looked over at her son, taking her eyes off Abel, very briefly, before cooing at the baby again.

"Is what true?" he replied. Jax reached out and caressed the top of his son's head. He was grateful to have his son back, safe and sound. All he needed now, was for Tara to make a full recovery.

"Hale told us you proposed to Tara before Wendy showed up," she explained what she'd heard. "When he questioned the witnesses, they told him what you said."

Jax grinned. "Yeah, I did. You got a problem with that?" He knew how much Gemma cared for Tara. He couldn't keep the grin from spreading across his face.

"No," Gemma shook her head. "Far from it. Tara didn't get a chance to answer you, did she?" She guessed.

"No," Jax frowned. "But I'm going to wait until she feels a little bit better before I ask her again. Tara's in no condition to be answering my question. She needs to focus on getting well. _Oh, shit! _I need to go shopping for a ring," he suddenly remembered he hadn't bought one for her.

He had popped the question without any kind of foresight or planning. A ring had been the furthest thing from his mind. He frantically began to wonder what kind of ring Tara might like.

"Oh, don't worry about that," she replied, with a knowing look.

"How come?" He could see the gears in Gemma's mind turning. He knew something was up. "You have one don't you?" He accused. His eyes narrowed.

"You could say that," she was being purposely vague. "I'll go home and get it. You hold Abel for awhile. If you get called back into ICU, just hand him over to Clay." She instructed, then quickly left, as if the fires of hell were chasing her.

Jax watched her, completely speechless, as she left through the doors of the hospital.

Clay watched her leave, then turned to Jax.

"Where did Gemma run off to?" he wondered. He had been talking to Tig about matters with the club.

"I don't know, your guess is as good as mine," Jax replied.

One of the nurses approached, asking about Tara's condition. Jax took the opportunity to ask her if she would mind looking after Abel for a few minutes, while he took care of some club business. She promptly agreed. She took Abel into her arms, and began cooing at him.

After Jax was sure Abel was lovingly cared for, he patted Clay on his back and they walked outside for a smoke, where all the rest of SAMCRO had gone. They still had matters with the Mayans to discuss.

* * *

Tara felt poked and prodded until she didn't think she could feel any worse. Her colleagues had been coming in and out of her room constantly since she had opened her eyes. Some were there to see how she was doing and some were there to examine her. It was a very uncomfortable feeling, and she was exhausted. She just wanted to be left alone.

It seemed like she had been lying in this bed for weeks. Where was Jax? Had he decided that since she was better, he didn't need her anymore?

She wasn't sure what was more depressing, Jax giving up on her or laying in this hospital bed and suffering through her colleagues' examinations. She was not a very good patient. She finally understood why some of her patients gave her problems.

Every time the door to her room opened, she hoped it was Jax who walked through the door. She always tried to hide her disappointment when it turned out to be another colleague of hers.

"You'll be able to move to another room by the end of the day," the main doctor on her case, informed her. "You're showing remarkable progress."

"Thanks," Tara wasn't sure of what to say. All she wanted was for Jax to walk through that door.

It was as if he had read her mind, she thought, as she watched him peer in through the window on the door. She waved for him to come in. He crept in, trying to not get into the doctor's way. He had a grin on his face.

She had a smile plastered on hers. She was happy and relieved to realize he hadn't abandoned her, after all.

"Can you give Jax and I some privacy, please?" She asked the staff. She waited until everyone had left the room. As they walked out the door, they tossed curious expressions over at her and Jax. She knew some of them would be there as soon as Jax left, for an update in the ever popular discussions on her love life. What there was of it, that is. She looked at Jax, expectantly.

"How are you feeling? What did your doctor say?" He asked, as he pulled up the nearest chair to the bedside.

"I'm going to be fine," she tried to reassure him. "What happened with Wendy? Have you given your statement to the police?"

Jax didn't want to talk about Wendy, or what happened at the airport between them, except for one thing. He looked around the ICU, uncomfortably. "Let's not go there."

"Why the hell not, Jax?" Tara was suddenly angry. "I think this is something that needs to be discussed, like two rational adults. She almost killed me, almost ruined my career...have you forgotten about it already?"

Jax jumped to his feet. "Wendy is arrested, okay?" He cried. "No, I haven't given my statement yet. I was thinking more about you and your condition!" He exploded.

Tara waited patiently for him to continue.

"And no, I haven't forgotten, and I don't think I will _ever_ forget what she tried to do to me...and most especially to _you_. Jesus fucking Christ! I know you have a right to be angry. She almost tried to kill both of us...she almost ruined you..." He paused, taking a deep breath to control his emotions. His hand roughly combed through his hair in agitation. "But that's not what I want to talk about. Not now, not here. Do you remember what I asked you before Wendy showed up?"

Tara had to calm herself down, before she answered him. She took a couple of deep breaths, then tried to recall what he had said at the airport. Oh, yeah...that's right. He asked me to marry him, she thought to herself. She looked up at him, hesitantly; suddenly scared he had decided to change his mind, because of what happened. "Yes."

Jax sat back down in his chair and reached for her hand, which had tubes and other medical equipment attached to it. He was almost afraid to touch her, and was afraid he would disconnect some of the tubes. He gently took her hand in both of his, then looked deep into her eyes. "And?" He asked, hopefully.

Tara didn't know what to say. She took a moment to take it all in, treasure it, so years from now she would always remember it. She looked down at her hand tucked in both of his, her thumb rubbed against his knuckles.

"Tara?" Jax was fearful she would turn him down. He never expected this. He released her hand, stood up and walked over to the window partition, which overlooked the rest of the ICU. He could feel his heart crushing in his chest. What had made him think she would agree to his proposal anyways?

What kind of life could he give her? Thanks to the club, he would be in and out of jail. They did business with violent people. He always had to keep a gun or a knife on him, in case something bad broke out. Why would she want a life like that? What did he think she would say? She'll say no, then he'll be forced to watch her leave for Chicago once she was feeling better.

He had suffered heartbreak the last time Tara had left town. It had taken a long time for her memory to fade. For so long, he had to keep himself drunk and high on weed, just to make it through the day. Even after he had moved on, he found himself thinking of her at the weirdest times, like when he was in bed with other women. Hers, was the only face his saw, his heart would only beat for her. If she turned him down now...he knew he could get through it, but it would be a long and lonely existence.

Tara watched as Jax stood by the window of the ICU. She knew he was trying to distance himself from her. She could tell by his reaction, he thought it was her answer and was already moving on. Was it too late?

"Jax?" She called, in a raspy voice. She coughed, then cleared her throat. Her mouth was suddenly dry. He turned towards her. "Can you please give me some water?" She could barely speak, and wanted her voice to be clear and concise.

Jax walked over to the table at the foot of the bed. There was a pitcher of water, with a glass for a lid. He twisted the lid off, then poured the water into it.

Meanwhile, Tara had gingerly propped herself up in bed. She took the glass when Jax handed it to her gratefully. She took a few sips, then handed the cup back to Jax. He placed it back on the table.

"Jax," Tara spoke up quietly. She wasn't sure how she was going to word this. It seemed like she should say something more than a simple, yes. They had waited years for this moment between them. "You remember when we were teenagers and we hung out at Mr. Casey's diner? Remember what you said to me on our fourth date?" she looked up at him hopefully.

Jax sat down again in the chair. "Yeah, I think so. I said something like, 'on our wedding day, we're going to have Mr. Casey's burgers and fries for our meal at our reception." He laughed. "I remember you were kind of offended by my suggestion," he chuckled, remembering.

Tara smiled at the memory too. "Well...Mr. Casey passed away a few years ago. He had cancer," she explained, her smile fading. "But...his nephew took over the business, and his burgers and fries are just as good." She paused, as she prepared to give Jax her final answer. "I think we better call up his nephew to make arrangements." She glanced up at Jax, through her eyelashes, almost afraid of his boisterous reaction.

It took a few minutes for it to sink in. Finally, Jax took Tara's hand in his, and touched the side of her cheek with the other. "Really?" He cried. "You're really going to marry me?" He was incredulous. Tara had agreed!

"Yes, I will marry you," Tara answered. "Although I don't know _why_. I must be a glutton for punishment," she teased.

Jax's reaction was not one she had expected. He jumped up, left the room, and shouted out to the rest of the ICU; "Hear that everybody? Dr. Tara Knowles has agreed to be my wife! Suck on that, bitches!" He turned around, came back to the side of the bed, and took Tara's hand in both of his again.

"Somehow I don't think they'll appreciate you calling them, 'bitches'," she teased, almost afraid of what her co-workers might say to her, if and when she returned to work. There was still the matter of whether the hospital would take her back or not. But that would have to wait until they cleared up the mess Wendy had left.

Jax leaned over the bed and kissed Tara on the lips, then her forehead. "I love you," he repeated, over and over again, in between kisses. Breaking away, one last time, he stared down at her with all the love in his eyes. "You need to rest, but don't worry...I'll be back before you know it." With that, Jax kissed her again, then left the room.

Tara laid there, stunned. Everything had happened so quickly. She was an engaged woman, but her groom-to-be had disappeared. She wondered where he went.

* * *

Jax left Tara's room, anxious to find Gemma. He found that she had returned, and was waiting for him in the waiting room. He rushed over to her.

"You got it?" He asked, not bothering with small-talk.

"Got it," she replied. "Did she say yes?" She wasn't into small-talk either.

"Yes," he answered. "Give it to me. I don't want to waste another minute." He held out his hand, waiting for Gemma to place the ring in his palm.

Gemma dug around in her purse, trying to locate it in the contents. It was hard to find. She emptied its' contents out on an empty chair of the waiting room. She found the ring box amongst all of her belongings. She turned back towards Jax, handing the box to him.

"Before you give this to her, I want you to know..." she paused, as memories flooded her. "This was the ring your father gave to me. Treasure it. Treasure her. Don't let what came between your father and I, come between you and Tara too," she instructed.

"Okay, I won't. _I promise_," he added, after he noticed Gemma's reaction. "Please, give it to me now, so I can make this official." He was impatient. He held his hand out towards her.

"Fine," Gemma relented, then placed the ring box in his outstretched hand. She reached for Jax, and kissed him. "My baby boy...all grown up."

"Stop that, Mom. I need to get going," he knew it was a special moment, but he had better things to do than be kissed by his mother, in front of the club, no less. They were standing or sitting around the waiting area, watching what was happening between him and Gemma. He knew he would be in for major teasing later, when he stopped by the club on his way home.

Gemma let him go and Jax escaped to Tara's room in the ICU. There, he found Tara resting comfortably in the bed. He hated to wake her. He took the diamond ring out of the ring box and gazed at its shimmering sparkles for a moment, before he would slip it on to her finger.

It was a stunning, but yet, simple engagement ring. The solitaire diamond wasn't huge, but it was enough to make it noticeable. He knew Tara was going to love it, just like he knew she loved him. He took her left hand, and slowly slid the ring on to her finger.

"Love you, babe," he told her, then kissed her cheek. He gazed down at the ring on her left hand.

Tara woke up to Jax's voice. She felt something odd on her finger. She opened her eyes and stared down at it. It was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. "Oh...Jax," she cried, as tears came to her eyes. "It's so beautiful. I love it."

Jax grinned and kissed her on her cheek, then took her left hand and kissed it. "Not half as beautiful as you."

**To Be Continued...**


End file.
